Listen With Your Eyes:Sometimes you have tolisten with your eyes asmuch as you listen withyour ears. People say alot with their bodylanguage and facialexpressions.Funny Dinner Night:Purposefully leave outrandom items needed fordinner. The goal is forchildren to notice theneeds of those at thetable and to fetch thoseitems from the kitchen tomeet the needs of therest of the family.Talk about a timeyou did notunderstandsomeone else justbecause theywere different thanyou.Paying Attention:Fill a tray with 10-15items that children wouldbe familiar with. Leave itout all day withoutbringing attention to it. Atdinner ask them to namethe items on the traywithout looking.‘’Most people donot listen with theintent tounderstand; theylisten with theintent to reply’’People who chooseto Seek First toUnderstand haveEMPATHY. If youshowed empathytoday put an X onthis box.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"So, what you aresaying is..."Words like “always”and “never” are cluesto muddying thewaters ofcommunication. Tallyeach time you usethem this month.What you saymatters (what youdo matters evenmore) – bemindful! Listenwith your hearttoday.Pretend Listening:Have your child tellyou something.Pretend listen tothem. Talk abouthow this is hurtful.Memorizethedefinition ofEMPATHY.Empathic listening isnot about agreeing withthe other (showingsympathy). It is aboutunderstanding whatmessage the other istrying to convey. It is theonly form of truelistening.List ways youwill Seek Firstto Understandothers that aredifferent fromyou.Are you aware thatpeople in your familyhave feelings, too?List your familymembers. Each daywrite one feeling theyshowed.Have you ever had atime with your familyor friends when youknew that you neededto “zip it” and justlisten? Talk about thattime at dinner tonight.Make atalking sticktogether asa family.Watch SesameStreet: Mark andMurray onYOUTUBE as theyteach you a lessonabout havingEMPATHY.Listen to thebookStand in MyShoes by BobSoronson onYouTube.Today, look yourfamily members inthe eye as theytalk to you. Askthem to expand onwhat they aretalking about.Play EmotionCharades: Practice‘listening with youreyes”. Choose anemotion to try toexpress just with yourface and body. You cannot use words.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"You seem to befeeling..."Write inyourdialoguejournal.Watch TheBerenstainBears: NewNeighbors onYouTube.Practice using yourFamily Talking Stickduring discussions.The person with thestick can talk, theothers listen.Listen With Your Eyes:Sometimes you have tolisten with your eyes asmuch as you listen withyour ears. People say alot with their bodylanguage and facialexpressions.Funny Dinner Night:Purposefully leave outrandom items needed fordinner. The goal is forchildren to notice theneeds of those at thetable and to fetch thoseitems from the kitchen tomeet the needs of therest of the family.Talk about a timeyou did notunderstandsomeone else justbecause theywere different thanyou.Paying Attention:Fill a tray with 10-15items that children wouldbe familiar with. Leave itout all day withoutbringing attention to it. Atdinner ask them to namethe items on the traywithout looking.‘’Most people donot listen with theintent tounderstand; theylisten with theintent to reply’’People who chooseto Seek First toUnderstand haveEMPATHY. If youshowed empathytoday put an X onthis box.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"So, what you aresaying is..."Words like “always”and “never” are cluesto muddying thewaters ofcommunication. Tallyeach time you usethem this month.What you saymatters (what youdo matters evenmore) – bemindful! Listenwith your hearttoday.Pretend Listening:Have your child tellyou something.Pretend listen tothem. Talk abouthow this is hurtful.Memorizethedefinition ofEMPATHY.Empathic listening isnot about agreeing withthe other (showingsympathy). It is aboutunderstanding whatmessage the other istrying to convey. It is theonly form of truelistening.List ways youwill Seek Firstto Understandothers that aredifferent fromyou.Are you aware thatpeople in your familyhave feelings, too?List your familymembers. Each daywrite one feeling theyshowed.Have you ever had atime with your familyor friends when youknew that you neededto “zip it” and justlisten? Talk about thattime at dinner tonight.Make atalking sticktogether asa family.Watch SesameStreet: Mark andMurray onYOUTUBE as theyteach you a lessonabout havingEMPATHY.Listen to thebookStand in MyShoes by BobSoronson onYouTube.Today, look yourfamily members inthe eye as theytalk to you. Askthem to expand onwhat they aretalking about.Play EmotionCharades: Practice‘listening with youreyes”. Choose anemotion to try toexpress just with yourface and body. You cannot use words.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"You seem to befeeling..."Write inyourdialoguejournal.Watch TheBerenstainBears: NewNeighbors onYouTube.Practice using yourFamily Talking Stickduring discussions.The person with thestick can talk, theothers listen.

#5 Seek First to Understand Then to Be Understood - Call List

(Print) Use this randomly generated list as your call list when playing the game. There is no need to say the BINGO column name. Place some kind of mark (like an X, a checkmark, a dot, tally mark, etc) on each cell as you announce it, to keep track. You can also cut out each item, place them in a bag and pull words from the bag.


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  1. Listen With Your Eyes: Sometimes you have to listen with your eyes as much as you listen with your ears. People say a lot with their body language and facial expressions.
  2. Funny Dinner Night: Purposefully leave out random items needed for dinner. The goal is for children to notice the needs of those at the table and to fetch those items from the kitchen to meet the needs of the rest of the family.
  3. Talk about a time you did not understand someone else just because they were different than you.
  4. Paying Attention: Fill a tray with 10-15 items that children would be familiar with. Leave it out all day without bringing attention to it. At dinner ask them to name the items on the tray without looking.
  5. ‘’Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply’’
  6. People who choose to Seek First to Understand have EMPATHY. If you showed empathy today put an X on this box.
  7. Mirror, Mirror: Today use this statement to answer back to family members: "So, what you are saying is..."
  8. Words like “always” and “never” are clues to muddying the waters of communication. Tally each time you use them this month.
  9. What you say matters (what you do matters even more) – be mindful! Listen with your heart today.
  10. Pretend Listening: Have your child tell you something. Pretend listen to them. Talk about how this is hurtful.
  11. Memorize the definition of EMPATHY.
  12. Empathic listening is not about agreeing with the other (showing sympathy). It is about understanding what message the other is trying to convey. It is the only form of true listening.
  13. List ways you will Seek First to Understand others that are different from you.
  14. Are you aware that people in your family have feelings, too? List your family members. Each day write one feeling they showed.
  15. Have you ever had a time with your family or friends when you knew that you needed to “zip it” and just listen? Talk about that time at dinner tonight.
  16. Make a talking stick together as a family.
  17. Watch Sesame Street: Mark and Murray on YOUTUBE as they teach you a lesson about having EMPATHY.
  18. Listen to the book Stand in My Shoes by Bob Soronson on YouTube.
  19. Today, look your family members in the eye as they talk to you. Ask them to expand on what they are talking about.
  20. Play Emotion Charades: Practice ‘listening with your eyes”. Choose an emotion to try to express just with your face and body. You can not use words.
  21. Mirror, Mirror: Today use this statement to answer back to family members: "You seem to be feeling..."
  22. Write in your dialogue journal.
  23. Watch The Berenstain Bears: New Neighbors on YouTube.
  24. Practice using your Family Talking Stick during discussions. The person with the stick can talk, the others listen.