People who chooseto Seek First toUnderstand haveEMPATHY. If youshowed empathytoday put an X onthis box.Watch SesameStreet: Mark andMurray onYOUTUBE as theyteach you a lessonabout havingEMPATHY.Pretend Listening:Have your child tellyou something.Pretend listen tothem. Talk abouthow this is hurtful.Have you ever had atime with your familyor friends when youknew that you neededto “zip it” and justlisten? Talk about thattime at dinner tonight.Play EmotionCharades: Practice‘listening with youreyes”. Choose anemotion to try toexpress just with yourface and body. You cannot use words.Listen With Your Eyes:Sometimes you have tolisten with your eyes asmuch as you listen withyour ears. People say alot with their bodylanguage and facialexpressions.Empathic listening isnot about agreeing withthe other (showingsympathy). It is aboutunderstanding whatmessage the other istrying to convey. It is theonly form of truelistening.List ways youwill Seek Firstto Understandothers that aredifferent fromyou.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"You seem to befeeling..."Listen to thebookStand in MyShoes by BobSoronson onYouTube.Watch TheBerenstainBears: NewNeighbors onYouTube.Write inyourdialoguejournal.Make atalking sticktogether asa family.Are you aware thatpeople in your familyhave feelings, too?List your familymembers. Each daywrite one feeling theyshowed.Today, look yourfamily members inthe eye as theytalk to you. Askthem to expand onwhat they aretalking about.‘’Most people donot listen with theintent tounderstand; theylisten with theintent to reply’’Memorizethedefinition ofEMPATHY.Funny Dinner Night:Purposefully leave outrandom items needed fordinner. The goal is forchildren to notice theneeds of those at thetable and to fetch thoseitems from the kitchen tomeet the needs of therest of the family.Words like “always”and “never” are cluesto muddying thewaters ofcommunication. Tallyeach time you usethem this month.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"So, what you aresaying is..."Talk about a timeyou did notunderstandsomeone else justbecause theywere different thanyou.What you saymatters (what youdo matters evenmore) – bemindful! Listenwith your hearttoday.Practice using yourFamily Talking Stickduring discussions.The person with thestick can talk, theothers listen.Paying Attention:Fill a tray with 10-15items that children wouldbe familiar with. Leave itout all day withoutbringing attention to it. Atdinner ask them to namethe items on the traywithout looking.People who chooseto Seek First toUnderstand haveEMPATHY. If youshowed empathytoday put an X onthis box.Watch SesameStreet: Mark andMurray onYOUTUBE as theyteach you a lessonabout havingEMPATHY.Pretend Listening:Have your child tellyou something.Pretend listen tothem. Talk abouthow this is hurtful.Have you ever had atime with your familyor friends when youknew that you neededto “zip it” and justlisten? Talk about thattime at dinner tonight.Play EmotionCharades: Practice‘listening with youreyes”. Choose anemotion to try toexpress just with yourface and body. You cannot use words.Listen With Your Eyes:Sometimes you have tolisten with your eyes asmuch as you listen withyour ears. People say alot with their bodylanguage and facialexpressions.Empathic listening isnot about agreeing withthe other (showingsympathy). It is aboutunderstanding whatmessage the other istrying to convey. It is theonly form of truelistening.List ways youwill Seek Firstto Understandothers that aredifferent fromyou.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"You seem to befeeling..."Listen to thebookStand in MyShoes by BobSoronson onYouTube.Watch TheBerenstainBears: NewNeighbors onYouTube.Write inyourdialoguejournal.Make atalking sticktogether asa family.Are you aware thatpeople in your familyhave feelings, too?List your familymembers. Each daywrite one feeling theyshowed.Today, look yourfamily members inthe eye as theytalk to you. Askthem to expand onwhat they aretalking about.‘’Most people donot listen with theintent tounderstand; theylisten with theintent to reply’’Memorizethedefinition ofEMPATHY.Funny Dinner Night:Purposefully leave outrandom items needed fordinner. The goal is forchildren to notice theneeds of those at thetable and to fetch thoseitems from the kitchen tomeet the needs of therest of the family.Words like “always”and “never” are cluesto muddying thewaters ofcommunication. Tallyeach time you usethem this month.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"So, what you aresaying is..."Talk about a timeyou did notunderstandsomeone else justbecause theywere different thanyou.What you saymatters (what youdo matters evenmore) – bemindful! Listenwith your hearttoday.Practice using yourFamily Talking Stickduring discussions.The person with thestick can talk, theothers listen.Paying Attention:Fill a tray with 10-15items that children wouldbe familiar with. Leave itout all day withoutbringing attention to it. Atdinner ask them to namethe items on the traywithout looking.

#5 Seek First to Understand Then to Be Understood - Call List

(Print) Use this randomly generated list as your call list when playing the game. There is no need to say the BINGO column name. Place some kind of mark (like an X, a checkmark, a dot, tally mark, etc) on each cell as you announce it, to keep track. You can also cut out each item, place them in a bag and pull words from the bag.


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  1. People who choose to Seek First to Understand have EMPATHY. If you showed empathy today put an X on this box.
  2. Watch Sesame Street: Mark and Murray on YOUTUBE as they teach you a lesson about having EMPATHY.
  3. Pretend Listening: Have your child tell you something. Pretend listen to them. Talk about how this is hurtful.
  4. Have you ever had a time with your family or friends when you knew that you needed to “zip it” and just listen? Talk about that time at dinner tonight.
  5. Play Emotion Charades: Practice ‘listening with your eyes”. Choose an emotion to try to express just with your face and body. You can not use words.
  6. Listen With Your Eyes: Sometimes you have to listen with your eyes as much as you listen with your ears. People say a lot with their body language and facial expressions.
  7. Empathic listening is not about agreeing with the other (showing sympathy). It is about understanding what message the other is trying to convey. It is the only form of true listening.
  8. List ways you will Seek First to Understand others that are different from you.
  9. Mirror, Mirror: Today use this statement to answer back to family members: "You seem to be feeling..."
  10. Listen to the book Stand in My Shoes by Bob Soronson on YouTube.
  11. Watch The Berenstain Bears: New Neighbors on YouTube.
  12. Write in your dialogue journal.
  13. Make a talking stick together as a family.
  14. Are you aware that people in your family have feelings, too? List your family members. Each day write one feeling they showed.
  15. Today, look your family members in the eye as they talk to you. Ask them to expand on what they are talking about.
  16. ‘’Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply’’
  17. Memorize the definition of EMPATHY.
  18. Funny Dinner Night: Purposefully leave out random items needed for dinner. The goal is for children to notice the needs of those at the table and to fetch those items from the kitchen to meet the needs of the rest of the family.
  19. Words like “always” and “never” are clues to muddying the waters of communication. Tally each time you use them this month.
  20. Mirror, Mirror: Today use this statement to answer back to family members: "So, what you are saying is..."
  21. Talk about a time you did not understand someone else just because they were different than you.
  22. What you say matters (what you do matters even more) – be mindful! Listen with your heart today.
  23. Practice using your Family Talking Stick during discussions. The person with the stick can talk, the others listen.
  24. Paying Attention: Fill a tray with 10-15 items that children would be familiar with. Leave it out all day without bringing attention to it. At dinner ask them to name the items on the tray without looking.