Make atalking sticktogether asa family.Today, look yourfamily members inthe eye as theytalk to you. Askthem to expand onwhat they aretalking about.Talk about a timeyou did notunderstandsomeone else justbecause theywere different thanyou.Practice using yourFamily Talking Stickduring discussions.The person with thestick can talk, theothers listen.Play EmotionCharades: Practice‘listening with youreyes”. Choose anemotion to try toexpress just with yourface and body. You cannot use words.Words like “always”and “never” are cluesto muddying thewaters ofcommunication. Tallyeach time you usethem this month.Listen With Your Eyes:Sometimes you have tolisten with your eyes asmuch as you listen withyour ears. People say alot with their bodylanguage and facialexpressions.Are you aware thatpeople in your familyhave feelings, too?List your familymembers. Each daywrite one feeling theyshowed.Watch SesameStreet: Mark andMurray onYOUTUBE as theyteach you a lessonabout havingEMPATHY.List ways youwill Seek Firstto Understandothers that aredifferent fromyou.Paying Attention:Fill a tray with 10-15items that children wouldbe familiar with. Leave itout all day withoutbringing attention to it. Atdinner ask them to namethe items on the traywithout looking.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"You seem to befeeling..."Write inyourdialoguejournal.Empathic listening isnot about agreeing withthe other (showingsympathy). It is aboutunderstanding whatmessage the other istrying to convey. It is theonly form of truelistening.What you saymatters (what youdo matters evenmore) – bemindful! Listenwith your hearttoday.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"So, what you aresaying is..."Funny Dinner Night:Purposefully leave outrandom items needed fordinner. The goal is forchildren to notice theneeds of those at thetable and to fetch thoseitems from the kitchen tomeet the needs of therest of the family.‘’Most people donot listen with theintent tounderstand; theylisten with theintent to reply’’Listen to thebookStand in MyShoes by BobSoronson onYouTube.Have you ever had atime with your familyor friends when youknew that you neededto “zip it” and justlisten? Talk about thattime at dinner tonight.Watch TheBerenstainBears: NewNeighbors onYouTube.People who chooseto Seek First toUnderstand haveEMPATHY. If youshowed empathytoday put an X onthis box.Memorizethedefinition ofEMPATHY.Pretend Listening:Have your child tellyou something.Pretend listen tothem. Talk abouthow this is hurtful.Make atalking sticktogether asa family.Today, look yourfamily members inthe eye as theytalk to you. Askthem to expand onwhat they aretalking about.Talk about a timeyou did notunderstandsomeone else justbecause theywere different thanyou.Practice using yourFamily Talking Stickduring discussions.The person with thestick can talk, theothers listen.Play EmotionCharades: Practice‘listening with youreyes”. Choose anemotion to try toexpress just with yourface and body. You cannot use words.Words like “always”and “never” are cluesto muddying thewaters ofcommunication. Tallyeach time you usethem this month.Listen With Your Eyes:Sometimes you have tolisten with your eyes asmuch as you listen withyour ears. People say alot with their bodylanguage and facialexpressions.Are you aware thatpeople in your familyhave feelings, too?List your familymembers. Each daywrite one feeling theyshowed.Watch SesameStreet: Mark andMurray onYOUTUBE as theyteach you a lessonabout havingEMPATHY.List ways youwill Seek Firstto Understandothers that aredifferent fromyou.Paying Attention:Fill a tray with 10-15items that children wouldbe familiar with. Leave itout all day withoutbringing attention to it. Atdinner ask them to namethe items on the traywithout looking.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"You seem to befeeling..."Write inyourdialoguejournal.Empathic listening isnot about agreeing withthe other (showingsympathy). It is aboutunderstanding whatmessage the other istrying to convey. It is theonly form of truelistening.What you saymatters (what youdo matters evenmore) – bemindful! Listenwith your hearttoday.Mirror, Mirror:Today use thisstatement toanswer back tofamily members:"So, what you aresaying is..."Funny Dinner Night:Purposefully leave outrandom items needed fordinner. The goal is forchildren to notice theneeds of those at thetable and to fetch thoseitems from the kitchen tomeet the needs of therest of the family.‘’Most people donot listen with theintent tounderstand; theylisten with theintent to reply’’Listen to thebookStand in MyShoes by BobSoronson onYouTube.Have you ever had atime with your familyor friends when youknew that you neededto “zip it” and justlisten? Talk about thattime at dinner tonight.Watch TheBerenstainBears: NewNeighbors onYouTube.People who chooseto Seek First toUnderstand haveEMPATHY. If youshowed empathytoday put an X onthis box.Memorizethedefinition ofEMPATHY.Pretend Listening:Have your child tellyou something.Pretend listen tothem. Talk abouthow this is hurtful.

#5 Seek First to Understand Then to Be Understood - Call List

(Print) Use this randomly generated list as your call list when playing the game. There is no need to say the BINGO column name. Place some kind of mark (like an X, a checkmark, a dot, tally mark, etc) on each cell as you announce it, to keep track. You can also cut out each item, place them in a bag and pull words from the bag.


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  1. Make a talking stick together as a family.
  2. Today, look your family members in the eye as they talk to you. Ask them to expand on what they are talking about.
  3. Talk about a time you did not understand someone else just because they were different than you.
  4. Practice using your Family Talking Stick during discussions. The person with the stick can talk, the others listen.
  5. Play Emotion Charades: Practice ‘listening with your eyes”. Choose an emotion to try to express just with your face and body. You can not use words.
  6. Words like “always” and “never” are clues to muddying the waters of communication. Tally each time you use them this month.
  7. Listen With Your Eyes: Sometimes you have to listen with your eyes as much as you listen with your ears. People say a lot with their body language and facial expressions.
  8. Are you aware that people in your family have feelings, too? List your family members. Each day write one feeling they showed.
  9. Watch Sesame Street: Mark and Murray on YOUTUBE as they teach you a lesson about having EMPATHY.
  10. List ways you will Seek First to Understand others that are different from you.
  11. Paying Attention: Fill a tray with 10-15 items that children would be familiar with. Leave it out all day without bringing attention to it. At dinner ask them to name the items on the tray without looking.
  12. Mirror, Mirror: Today use this statement to answer back to family members: "You seem to be feeling..."
  13. Write in your dialogue journal.
  14. Empathic listening is not about agreeing with the other (showing sympathy). It is about understanding what message the other is trying to convey. It is the only form of true listening.
  15. What you say matters (what you do matters even more) – be mindful! Listen with your heart today.
  16. Mirror, Mirror: Today use this statement to answer back to family members: "So, what you are saying is..."
  17. Funny Dinner Night: Purposefully leave out random items needed for dinner. The goal is for children to notice the needs of those at the table and to fetch those items from the kitchen to meet the needs of the rest of the family.
  18. ‘’Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply’’
  19. Listen to the book Stand in My Shoes by Bob Soronson on YouTube.
  20. Have you ever had a time with your family or friends when you knew that you needed to “zip it” and just listen? Talk about that time at dinner tonight.
  21. Watch The Berenstain Bears: New Neighbors on YouTube.
  22. People who choose to Seek First to Understand have EMPATHY. If you showed empathy today put an X on this box.
  23. Memorize the definition of EMPATHY.
  24. Pretend Listening: Have your child tell you something. Pretend listen to them. Talk about how this is hurtful.