We get the yearly montage of how great Bethesda is Half-Life 3 is shown Skyrim releases on something new Wii Party 3 is announced Life is Strange is show Beyond Good and Evil 2 is shown Microsoft acquires someone A presenter forgets they’re not muted, gets cancelled Alien Hominid Invasion is shown Golden Sun isn’t dead Assassin’s Creed anything SMTV is shown Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is announced Monolith Soft’s new IP is shown No Metroid Prime 4 news Mario Kart 9 is announced Dragon Age 4 is shown Playtonic’s new game is announced A presenter is muted for their entire segment Sonic Colours Ultimate is shown Bayonetta 3 is shown F-Zero isn’t dead Switch gets folders GTA 5 shows up again Street Fighter anything Fallout 76 makes an appearance Switch gets themes Any Persona game is ported to Switch N64 added to NSO Far Cry 6 is shown Xenoblade Chronicles X2 is announced Valve disappoints most people Kojima’s next game is shown Baten Kaitos anything “Strand game” Bloodborne 2 is announced Spy Muppets 2 is announced Silent Hill remake Square Enix’s last announcement is disappointing Tomb Raider celebrates its anniversary Uncontrollable clapping for Bethesda Cuphead 2 is announced Sushi Striker 2 is announced Metal Gear Solid 6 is announced Switch Virtual Console is revamped Minor/Other Publishers BotW 2 is shown First party no-one cares about in Smash An old Square Enix JRPG series is revived Sony shows up anyway for some reason Original new Fire Emblem game shown A presenter leaves a Zoom filter on A Bethesda employee swears in an attempt to be cool and relatable Fire Emblem Awakening remake Shovel Knight anything Fable 4 is shown Metal Gear Solid remake VirtualBoy is added to NSO Pokémon BDSP release date is announced A presentation is done in an empty auditorium. All clapping is fake Persona 5 Arena is announced Virtual Reality anything Project Triangle Strategy becomes Triangle Strategy Square Enix wins again Starfield is shown Upgraded Switch not shown Upgraded Switch model is properly announced Elden Ring is shown Metroid Prime 4 is given a gameplay trailer “No Lootboxes” Wii Sports comes back Any Persona game is ported to PC Mario Golf: Super Rush is shown Psychonauts 2 is shown Tales of Arise is shown Bioshock 4 is shown FF7 Remake Part 2 is shown Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection is announced A Smash character releases in June New 3D Donkey Kong Mario & Rabbids sequel is announced Todd Howard gets on stage Halo Infinite is shown Fire Emblem Tellius remakes Ninja Rhythm Heaven anything A new Mega Man game (not a collection) is announced Forza is shown Xenoblade Chronicles X is ported Star Fox anything Crash Bandicoot in Smash A presenter isn’t wearing pants Monster Hunter Rise is shown Mother series gets a trilogy remake Pokémon is skipped over entirely in favour of its own presentation No BotW 2 news Mario and Sonic at the Beijing 2022 Olympic Winter Games is announced Fortnite 2 is announced New 2D Donkey Kong Unqualified children present something Ubisoft has another orchestra no-one cares about Devil May Cry is shown Tom Clancy Pikmin 4 is shown Lost Judgement is shown More Zelda ports are announced The Elder Scrolls 6 is shown Persona 5 Racing is announced The Ouya returns Someone is hologrammed Xbox “exclusive” releases on PC Animal Crossing New Horizons is shown Some non- EA company gets a license for sports games Dark Souls anything Minecraft makes an appearance New 3D Kirby Next Gen consoles are teased Some company tries to be sympathetic and relatable through mentioning COVID Mother 3 gets ported to Switch, but only in Japan New Wario Game Spore 2 is announced Animal Crossing amiibo Festival is ported Upgraded Switch releases 2021 Anything 2D Metroid Related Metroid Prime 4 is teased Upgraded Switch releases 2022 Doug Bowser makes a Bowser joke Spiderman anything New Kirby spinoff Nintendo says they’re “improving online” SEGA revives a dead IP Switch gets a browser Square Enix That Bethesda “Wooooo” guy comes back Some random influencer you’ve never heard of announces something Pokémon Legends Arceus is shown Any Halo game comes to Switch Bethesda turns a beloved IP into a shitty mobile game Gotham Knights is shown Doom Guy in Smash A presenter doesn’t have enough space in the shot, stands outside the room in an awkward place Keanu Reeves apologizes for Cyberpunk Just Dance dance number Nintendo Labo comes back for some reason Microsoft crossover fighting game is announced Fortnite makes an appearance A Mario Odyssey sequel is announced The Elder Scrolls 6 is ignored Mother 3 gets remade, but only in Japan Reggie shows up Nintendo releases another “99” game ARK 2 is shown Halo Infinite is delayed New Silent Hill game Mother 3 finally gets localized TWEWY Neo is shown Gex Night SMTV is delayed Pikmin 5 is announced Otterbox releases a new console Dragon Quest Overture plays A new 2D Sonic the Hedgehog game is announced GTA 6 is teased. inactive pops off Switch Calculator gets DLC Ubisoft’s last announcement is disappointing No Bayonetta 3 news Koizumi snaps Two Smash characters are announced Microsoft Flight Sim Series X release date announced Metroid Prime Trilogy is announced for Switch Master Chief in Smash Remaster that doesn’t look like a remaster Super Mario Party 2 is announced Phil Spencer is very proud of his console specs New 2D Kirby Microsoft’s last announcement is disappointing Sonic 2022 is shown Final Fantasy 14 is shown Guilty Gear Strive is shown General/Meta Alan Wake 2 is shown Silksong makes an Appearance anyway Final Fantasy 16 is shown Soulja Boy makes an appearance Fallout 5 is announced Splatoon 3 is shown Melee on Switch, but only in a limited release window Another attempt at an Avengers game Project Triangle Strategy gets a good name Kingdom Hearts anything No Pikmin 4 news Cuphead DLC still exists Skyward Sword remaster is shown A new Rabbids game not related to Mario XCloud comes to Switch Nintendo’s last announcement is disappointing The middle 20 minutes of the Nintendo Direct is shovelware Microsoft/Bethesda Square Enix turns a beloved IP into a shitty mobile game Dante in Smash Ubisoft Hogwarts Legacy is shown New Yakuza game is announced Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War remake Cloud Strife is on my screen Crash Bandicoot anything “But before we go/Just one last thing” Forspoken is shown Dragon Quest XII is shown GameBoy is added to NSO Mega Man Legends Legacy Collection is announced We get the yearly montage of how great Bethesda is Half-Life 3 is shown Skyrim releases on something new Wii Party 3 is announced Life is Strange is show Beyond Good and Evil 2 is shown Microsoft acquires someone A presenter forgets they’re not muted, gets cancelled Alien Hominid Invasion is shown Golden Sun isn’t dead Assassin’s Creed anything SMTV is shown Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is announced Monolith Soft’s new IP is shown No Metroid Prime 4 news Mario Kart 9 is announced Dragon Age 4 is shown Playtonic’s new game is announced A presenter is muted for their entire segment Sonic Colours Ultimate is shown Bayonetta 3 is shown F-Zero isn’t dead Switch gets folders GTA 5 shows up again Street Fighter anything Fallout 76 makes an appearance Switch gets themes Any Persona game is ported to Switch N64 added to NSO Far Cry 6 is shown Xenoblade Chronicles X2 is announced Valve disappoints most people Kojima’s next game is shown Baten Kaitos anything “Strand game” Bloodborne 2 is announced Spy Muppets 2 is announced Silent Hill remake Square Enix’s last announcement is disappointing Tomb Raider celebrates its anniversary Uncontrollable clapping for Bethesda Cuphead 2 is announced Sushi Striker 2 is announced Metal Gear Solid 6 is announced Switch Virtual Console is revamped Minor/Other Publishers BotW 2 is shown First party no-one cares about in Smash An old Square Enix JRPG series is revived Sony shows up anyway for some reason Original new Fire Emblem game shown A presenter leaves a Zoom filter on A Bethesda employee swears in an attempt to be cool and relatable Fire Emblem Awakening remake Shovel Knight anything Fable 4 is shown Metal Gear Solid remake VirtualBoy is added to NSO Pokémon BDSP release date is announced A presentation is done in an empty auditorium. All clapping is fake Persona 5 Arena is announced Virtual Reality anything Project Triangle Strategy becomes Triangle Strategy Square Enix wins again Starfield is shown Upgraded Switch not shown Upgraded Switch model is properly announced Elden Ring is shown Metroid Prime 4 is given a gameplay trailer “No Lootboxes” Wii Sports comes back Any Persona game is ported to PC Mario Golf: Super Rush is shown Psychonauts 2 is shown Tales of Arise is shown Bioshock 4 is shown FF7 Remake Part 2 is shown Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection is announced A Smash character releases in June New 3D Donkey Kong Mario & Rabbids sequel is announced Todd Howard gets on stage Halo Infinite is shown Fire Emblem Tellius remakes Ninja Rhythm Heaven anything A new Mega Man game (not a collection) is announced Forza is shown Xenoblade Chronicles X is ported Star Fox anything Crash Bandicoot in Smash A presenter isn’t wearing pants Monster Hunter Rise is shown Mother series gets a trilogy remake Pokémon is skipped over entirely in favour of its own presentation No BotW 2 news Mario and Sonic at the Beijing 2022 Olympic Winter Games is announced Fortnite 2 is announced New 2D Donkey Kong Unqualified children present something Ubisoft has another orchestra no-one cares about Devil May Cry is shown Tom Clancy Pikmin 4 is shown Lost Judgement is shown More Zelda ports are announced The Elder Scrolls 6 is shown Persona 5 Racing is announced The Ouya returns Someone is hologrammed Xbox “exclusive” releases on PC Animal Crossing New Horizons is shown Some non- EA company gets a license for sports games Dark Souls anything Minecraft makes an appearance New 3D Kirby Next Gen consoles are teased Some company tries to be sympathetic and relatable through mentioning COVID Mother 3 gets ported to Switch, but only in Japan New Wario Game Spore 2 is announced Animal Crossing amiibo Festival is ported Upgraded Switch releases 2021 Anything 2D Metroid Related Metroid Prime 4 is teased Upgraded Switch releases 2022 Doug Bowser makes a Bowser joke Spiderman anything New Kirby spinoff Nintendo says they’re “improving online” SEGA revives a dead IP Switch gets a browser Square Enix That Bethesda “Wooooo” guy comes back Some random influencer you’ve never heard of announces something Pokémon Legends Arceus is shown Any Halo game comes to Switch Bethesda turns a beloved IP into a shitty mobile game Gotham Knights is shown Doom Guy in Smash A presenter doesn’t have enough space in the shot, stands outside the room in an awkward place Keanu Reeves apologizes for Cyberpunk Just Dance dance number Nintendo Labo comes back for some reason Microsoft crossover fighting game is announced Fortnite makes an appearance A Mario Odyssey sequel is announced The Elder Scrolls 6 is ignored Mother 3 gets remade, but only in Japan Reggie shows up Nintendo releases another “99” game ARK 2 is shown Halo Infinite is delayed New Silent Hill game Mother 3 finally gets localized TWEWY Neo is shown Gex Night SMTV is delayed Pikmin 5 is announced Otterbox releases a new console Dragon Quest Overture plays A new 2D Sonic the Hedgehog game is announced GTA 6 is teased. inactive pops off Switch Calculator gets DLC Ubisoft’s last announcement is disappointing No Bayonetta 3 news Koizumi snaps Two Smash characters are announced Microsoft Flight Sim Series X release date announced Metroid Prime Trilogy is announced for Switch Master Chief in Smash Remaster that doesn’t look like a remaster Super Mario Party 2 is announced Phil Spencer is very proud of his console specs New 2D Kirby Microsoft’s last announcement is disappointing Sonic 2022 is shown Final Fantasy 14 is shown Guilty Gear Strive is shown General/Meta Alan Wake 2 is shown Silksong makes an Appearance anyway Final Fantasy 16 is shown Soulja Boy makes an appearance Fallout 5 is announced Splatoon 3 is shown Melee on Switch, but only in a limited release window Another attempt at an Avengers game Project Triangle Strategy gets a good name Kingdom Hearts anything No Pikmin 4 news Cuphead DLC still exists Skyward Sword remaster is shown A new Rabbids game not related to Mario XCloud comes to Switch Nintendo’s last announcement is disappointing The middle 20 minutes of the Nintendo Direct is shovelware Microsoft/Bethesda Square Enix turns a beloved IP into a shitty mobile game Dante in Smash Ubisoft Hogwarts Legacy is shown New Yakuza game is announced Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War remake Cloud Strife is on my screen Crash Bandicoot anything “But before we go/Just one last thing” Forspoken is shown Dragon Quest XII is shown GameBoy is added to NSO Mega Man Legends Legacy Collection is announced
(Print)
We get the yearly montage of how great Bethesda is
Half-Life 3 is shown
Skyrim releases on something new
Wii Party 3 is announced
Life is Strange is show
Beyond Good and Evil 2 is shown
Microsoft acquires someone
A presenter forgets they’re not muted, gets cancelled
Alien Hominid Invasion is shown
Golden Sun isn’t dead
Assassin’s Creed anything
SMTV is shown
Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is announced
Monolith Soft’s new IP is shown
No Metroid Prime 4 news
Mario Kart 9 is announced
Dragon Age 4 is shown
Playtonic’s new game is announced
A presenter is muted for their entire segment
Sonic Colours Ultimate is shown
Bayonetta 3 is shown
F-Zero isn’t dead
Switch gets folders
GTA 5 shows up again
Street Fighter anything
Fallout 76 makes an appearance
Switch gets themes
Any Persona game is ported to Switch
N64 added to NSO
Far Cry 6 is shown
Xenoblade Chronicles X2 is announced
Valve disappoints most people
Kojima’s next game is shown
Baten Kaitos anything
“Strand game”
Bloodborne 2 is announced
Spy Muppets 2 is announced
Silent Hill remake
Square Enix’s last announcement is disappointing
Tomb Raider celebrates its anniversary
Uncontrollable clapping for Bethesda
Cuphead 2 is announced
Sushi Striker 2 is announced
Metal Gear Solid 6 is announced
Switch Virtual Console is revamped
Minor/Other Publishers
BotW 2 is shown
First party no-one cares about in Smash
An old Square Enix JRPG series is revived
Sony shows up anyway for some reason
Original new Fire Emblem game shown
A presenter leaves a Zoom filter on
A Bethesda employee swears in an attempt to be cool and relatable
Fire Emblem Awakening remake
Shovel Knight anything
Fable 4 is shown
Metal Gear Solid remake
VirtualBoy is added to NSO
Pokémon BDSP release date is announced
A presentation is done in an empty auditorium. All clapping is fake
Persona 5 Arena is announced
Virtual Reality anything
Project Triangle Strategy becomes Triangle Strategy
Square Enix wins again
Starfield is shown
Upgraded Switch not shown
Upgraded Switch model is properly announced
Elden Ring is shown
Metroid Prime 4 is given a gameplay trailer
“No Lootboxes”
Wii Sports comes back
Any Persona game is ported to PC
Mario Golf: Super Rush is shown
Psychonauts 2 is shown
Tales of Arise is shown
Bioshock 4 is shown
FF7 Remake Part 2 is shown
Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection is announced
A Smash character releases in June
New 3D Donkey Kong
Mario & Rabbids sequel is announced
Todd Howard gets on stage
Halo Infinite is shown
Fire Emblem Tellius remakes
Ninja
Rhythm Heaven anything
A new Mega Man game (not a collection) is announced
Forza is shown
Xenoblade Chronicles X is ported
Star Fox anything
Crash Bandicoot in Smash
A presenter isn’t wearing pants
Monster Hunter Rise is shown
Mother series gets a trilogy remake
Pokémon is skipped over entirely in favour of its own presentation
No BotW 2 news
Mario and Sonic at the Beijing 2022 Olympic Winter Games is announced
Fortnite 2 is announced
New 2D Donkey Kong
Unqualified children present something
Ubisoft has another orchestra no-one cares about
Devil May Cry is shown
Tom Clancy
Pikmin 4 is shown
Lost Judgement is shown
More Zelda ports are announced
The Elder Scrolls 6 is shown
Persona 5 Racing is announced
The Ouya returns
Someone is hologrammed
Xbox “exclusive” releases on PC
Animal Crossing New Horizons is shown
Some non-EA company gets a license for sports games
Dark Souls anything
Minecraft makes an appearance
New 3D Kirby
Next Gen consoles are teased
Some company tries to be sympathetic and relatable through mentioning COVID
Mother 3 gets ported to Switch, but only in Japan
New Wario Game
Spore 2 is announced
Animal Crossing amiibo Festival is ported
Upgraded Switch releases 2021
Anything 2D Metroid Related
Metroid Prime 4 is teased
Upgraded Switch releases 2022
Doug Bowser makes a Bowser joke
Spiderman anything
New Kirby spinoff
Nintendo says they’re “improving online”
SEGA revives a dead IP
Switch gets a browser
Square Enix
That Bethesda “Wooooo” guy comes back
Some random influencer you’ve never heard of announces something
Pokémon Legends Arceus is shown
Any Halo game comes to Switch
Bethesda turns a beloved IP into a shitty mobile game
Gotham Knights is shown
Doom Guy in Smash
A presenter doesn’t have enough space in the shot, stands outside the room in an awkward place
Keanu Reeves apologizes for Cyberpunk
Just Dance dance number
Nintendo Labo comes back for some reason
Microsoft crossover fighting game is announced
Fortnite makes an appearance
A Mario Odyssey sequel is announced
The Elder Scrolls 6 is ignored
Mother 3 gets remade, but only in Japan
Reggie shows up
Nintendo releases another “99” game
ARK 2 is shown
Halo Infinite is delayed
New Silent Hill game
Mother 3 finally gets localized
TWEWY Neo is shown
Gex Night
SMTV is delayed
Pikmin 5 is announced
Otterbox releases a new console
Dragon Quest Overture plays
A new 2D Sonic the Hedgehog game is announced
GTA 6 is teased. inactive pops off
Switch Calculator gets DLC
Ubisoft’s last announcement is disappointing
No Bayonetta 3 news
Koizumi snaps
Two Smash characters are announced
Microsoft Flight Sim Series X release date announced
Metroid Prime Trilogy is announced for Switch
Master Chief in Smash
Remaster that doesn’t look like a remaster
Super Mario Party 2 is announced
Phil Spencer is very proud of his console specs
New 2D Kirby
Microsoft’s last announcement is disappointing
Sonic 2022 is shown
Final Fantasy 14 is shown
Guilty Gear Strive is shown
General/Meta
Alan Wake 2 is shown
Silksong makes an Appearance anyway
Final Fantasy 16 is shown
Soulja Boy makes an appearance
Fallout 5 is announced
Splatoon 3 is shown
Melee on Switch, but only in a limited release window
Another attempt at an Avengers game
Project Triangle Strategy gets a good name
Kingdom Hearts anything
No Pikmin 4 news
Cuphead DLC still exists
Skyward Sword remaster is shown
A new Rabbids game not related to Mario
XCloud comes to Switch
Nintendo’s last announcement is disappointing
The middle 20 minutes of the Nintendo Direct is shovelware
Microsoft/Bethesda
Square Enix turns a beloved IP into a shitty mobile game
Dante in Smash
Ubisoft
Hogwarts Legacy is shown
New Yakuza game is announced
Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War remake
Cloud Strife is on my screen
Crash Bandicoot anything
“But before we go/Just one last thing”
Forspoken is shown
Dragon Quest XII is shown
GameBoy is added to NSO
Mega Man Legends Legacy Collection is announced
