RESPECT Payingattention to,listening toothers becausethey areimportant. Rationalization&JustificationMaking excusesfor yourselfinstead of takingresponsibility foryour behaviorTHREATSSaying you aregoing to dosomethingharmful toyourself orothersPEERPRESSURE Using socialclout toinfluencesomeone todo something.Avoidance Staying too busyor distant, soyou don't haveto deal with theconflict.  ActingOut Using physicalforce, instead ofusing words, toshow how youfeel.EMOTIONALABUSE Put downsandmanipulation.VIOLATESYOURPRIVACYTouching you/yourbelongings, and/orinvading yourspace withoutpermission.HUMILIATIONMakedecisionstogether.Neither oneis in control.Blame Refusing to look atyour own behaviorand only looking atwhat the otherperson did wrong.Minimization Downplayingthesignificance ofwhat you'vedone wrong.INTIMIDATIONUsinggestures/bodylanguage tomake othersafraid. Denial Refusing toacknowledge thetruth about whatyou've done wrongor what you arefeeling.SELFCONFIDENCE/ PERSONALGROWTHEncouragingyour friend tolikehimself/herself& be a betterperson. TRUST &SUPPORT Being ok withfriends havingother friends.Encouragingyour friends.HONESTY &ACCOUNTABILITY Admitting itwhen youare wrong.Keepingpromises.sense ofentitlement thinking &acting likeyou deservespecialtreatment SHAREDPOWERMakedecisionstogether.Neither oneis in control.ISOLATION Using jealousyto control whoyour friendhangs out with.IntellectualizationActing like arobot, likeyou don'thavefeelings.HARASSMENTIntentionally& repeatedlyaggravatingsomeone.NEGOTIATION& FAIRNESS Workingtogether,compromise,agree todisagreesometimesOPENCOMMUNICATIONBeingassertiveand using “Istatements” SAFEBEHAVIORAct soothers feelsafe & cansay “NO”.RESPECT Payingattention to,listening toothers becausethey areimportant. Rationalization&JustificationMaking excusesfor yourselfinstead of takingresponsibility foryour behaviorTHREATSSaying you aregoing to dosomethingharmful toyourself orothersPEERPRESSURE Using socialclout toinfluencesomeone todo something.Avoidance Staying too busyor distant, soyou don't haveto deal with theconflict.  ActingOut Using physicalforce, instead ofusing words, toshow how youfeel.EMOTIONALABUSE Put downsandmanipulation.VIOLATESYOURPRIVACYTouching you/yourbelongings, and/orinvading yourspace withoutpermission.HUMILIATIONMakedecisionstogether.Neither oneis in control.Blame Refusing to look atyour own behaviorand only looking atwhat the otherperson did wrong.Minimization Downplayingthesignificance ofwhat you'vedone wrong.INTIMIDATIONUsinggestures/bodylanguage tomake othersafraid. Denial Refusing toacknowledge thetruth about whatyou've done wrongor what you arefeeling.SELFCONFIDENCE/ PERSONALGROWTHEncouragingyour friend tolikehimself/herself& be a betterperson. TRUST &SUPPORT Being ok withfriends havingother friends.Encouragingyour friends.HONESTY &ACCOUNTABILITY Admitting itwhen youare wrong.Keepingpromises.sense ofentitlement thinking &acting likeyou deservespecialtreatment SHAREDPOWERMakedecisionstogether.Neither oneis in control.ISOLATION Using jealousyto control whoyour friendhangs out with.IntellectualizationActing like arobot, likeyou don'thavefeelings.HARASSMENTIntentionally& repeatedlyaggravatingsomeone.NEGOTIATION& FAIRNESS Workingtogether,compromise,agree todisagreesometimesOPENCOMMUNICATIONBeingassertiveand using “Istatements” SAFEBEHAVIORAct soothers feelsafe & cansay “NO”.

Equality Wheel, Power & Control Wheel, & Defenses - Call List

(Print) Use this randomly generated list as your call list when playing the game. There is no need to say the BINGO column name. Place some kind of mark (like an X, a checkmark, a dot, tally mark, etc) on each cell as you announce it, to keep track. You can also cut out each item, place them in a bag and pull words from the bag.


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  1. Paying attention to, listening to others because they are important.
    RESPECT
  2. Making excuses for yourself instead of taking responsibility for your behavior
    Rationalization & Justification
  3. Saying you are going to do something harmful to yourself or others
    THREATS
  4. Using social clout to influence someone to do something.
    PEER PRESSURE
  5. Staying too busy or distant, so you don't have to deal with the conflict.
    Avoidance
  6. Using physical force, instead of using words, to show how you feel.
    Acting Out
  7. Put downs and manipulation.
    EMOTIONAL ABUSE
  8. Touching you/your belongings, and/or invading your space without permission.
    VIOLATES YOUR PRIVACY
  9. Make decisions together. Neither one is in control.
    HUMILIATION
  10. Refusing to look at your own behavior and only looking at what the other person did wrong.
    Blame
  11. Downplaying the significance of what you've done wrong.
    Minimization
  12. Using gestures/body language to make others afraid.
    INTIMIDATION
  13. Refusing to acknowledge the truth about what you've done wrong or what you are feeling.
    Denial
  14. Encouraging your friend to like himself/herself & be a better person.
    SELF CONFIDENCE / PERSONAL GROWTH
  15. Being ok with friends having other friends. Encouraging your friends.
    TRUST & SUPPORT
  16. Admitting it when you are wrong. Keeping promises.
    HONESTY & ACCOUNTABILITY
  17. thinking & acting like you deserve special treatment
    sense of entitlement
  18. Make decisions together. Neither one is in control.
    SHARED POWER
  19. Using jealousy to control who your friend hangs out with.
    ISOLATION
  20. Acting like a robot, like you don't have feelings.
    Intellectualization
  21. Intentionally & repeatedly aggravating someone.
    HARASSMENT
  22. Working together, compromise, agree to disagree sometimes
    NEGOTIATION & FAIRNESS
  23. Being assertive and using “I statements”
    OPEN COMMUNICATION
  24. Act so others feel safe & can say “NO”.
    SAFE BEHAVIOR