But noneof themwork.I have a fewjokes aboutunemployedpeople,Saturdayand Sunday,the rest areweekdaysWhat are thestrongestdays of theweek?I could doit with myeyesclosedSleepingcomes sonaturallyto menow I'mnot sosureI used tobeindecisiveTequilamockingbirdWhat do youget whenyou mixalcohol andliterature?All I didwas takea day offI can’tbelieve I gotfired fromthe calendarfactory.AmaybeWhat do youcall a beethat can’tmake up itsmind?Remainsto beseen.Will glasscoffins beasuccess?Then ithit me.I waswonderingwhy the ballwas gettingbigger.I lostmycaseI tried to suethe airline forlosing myluggage.He's allrightnow.Did you hearabout the guywhose wholeleft side wascut off?A woman askedme to checkher balance, soI pushed heroverI lost my jobat the bankon my veryfirst day.I NoahguyNeedan ark?YouplanetHow doyou throwa spaceparty?I don'tknow anddon'treally careIs it ignoranceor apathythat'sdestroying theworld today?AninvestigatorWhat doyou call analligator ina vest?What did thegrape saywhen it gotstepped on?Nothing -but it letout a littlewhinebut on theother handshe wascompletelyfineJill brokeher fingertodayIreland.Every dayit’s Dublin.Which country’scapital has thefastest-growingpopulation?1 Mrs.Hippie, 2MrsHippies....What do youcall thewives of ahippiepolygamist?are justthewurstGermansausagejokesIt'sintensetense intentsWhen thepast, present,and future gocamping theyalways argue.There’s nomenu - youget what youdeserveHear aboutthe newrestaurantcalledKarma?That’sridiculous.My dogsdon’t evenown bikesA police officer justknocked on mydoor and told memy dogs arechasing people onbikes.MicrowavesWhatwashesup on tinybeaches?But Icouldn'tfind any.I went to buysomecamouflagetrousersyesterdaySUPPLIES!What did thejanitor saywhen hejumped out ofthe closet?“That’sthe lastthing Ineed!”I saw an adfor burialplots, and Ithought:But noneof themwork.I have a fewjokes aboutunemployedpeople,Saturdayand Sunday,the rest areweekdaysWhat are thestrongestdays of theweek?I could doit with myeyesclosedSleepingcomes sonaturallyto menow I'mnot sosureI used tobeindecisiveTequilamockingbirdWhat do youget whenyou mixalcohol andliterature?All I didwas takea day offI can’tbelieve I gotfired fromthe calendarfactory.AmaybeWhat do youcall a beethat can’tmake up itsmind?Remainsto beseen.Will glasscoffins beasuccess?Then ithit me.I waswonderingwhy the ballwas gettingbigger.I lostmycaseI tried to suethe airline forlosing myluggage.He's allrightnow.Did you hearabout the guywhose wholeleft side wascut off?A woman askedme to checkher balance, soI pushed heroverI lost my jobat the bankon my veryfirst day.I NoahguyNeedan ark?YouplanetHow doyou throwa spaceparty?I don'tknow anddon'treally careIs it ignoranceor apathythat'sdestroying theworld today?AninvestigatorWhat doyou call analligator ina vest?What did thegrape saywhen it gotstepped on?Nothing -but it letout a littlewhinebut on theother handshe wascompletelyfineJill brokeher fingertodayIreland.Every dayit’s Dublin.Which country’scapital has thefastest-growingpopulation?1 Mrs.Hippie, 2MrsHippies....What do youcall thewives of ahippiepolygamist?are justthewurstGermansausagejokesIt'sintensetense intentsWhen thepast, present,and future gocamping theyalways argue.There’s nomenu - youget what youdeserveHear aboutthe newrestaurantcalledKarma?That’sridiculous.My dogsdon’t evenown bikesA police officer justknocked on mydoor and told memy dogs arechasing people onbikes.MicrowavesWhatwashesup on tinybeaches?But Icouldn'tfind any.I went to buysomecamouflagetrousersyesterdaySUPPLIES!What did thejanitor saywhen hejumped out ofthe closet?“That’sthe lastthing Ineed!”I saw an adfor burialplots, and Ithought:

Puns and Jokes - Call List

(Print) Use this randomly generated list as your call list when playing the game. There is no need to say the BINGO column name. Place some kind of mark (like an X, a checkmark, a dot, tally mark, etc) on each cell as you announce it, to keep track. You can also cut out each item, place them in a bag and pull words from the bag.


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  1. I have a few jokes about unemployed people,
    But none of them work.
  2. What are the strongest days of the week?
    Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays
  3. Sleeping comes so naturally to me
    I could do it with my eyes closed
  4. I used to be indecisive
    now I'm not so sure
  5. What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
    Tequila mockingbird
  6. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
    All I did was take a day off
  7. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
    A maybe
  8. Will glass coffins be a success?
    Remains to be seen.
  9. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger.
    Then it hit me.
  10. I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
    I lost my case
  11. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
    He's all right now.
  12. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day.
    A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over
  13. Need an ark?
    I Noah guy
  14. How do you throw a space party?
    You planet
  15. Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?
    I don't know and don't really care
  16. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
    An investigator
  17. Nothing - but it let out a little whine
    What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
  18. Jill broke her finger today
    but on the other hand she was completely fine
  19. Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?
    Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
  20. What do you call the wives of a hippie polygamist?
    1 Mrs. Hippie, 2 Mrs Hippies....
  21. German sausage jokes
    are just the wurst
  22. When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.
    It's intense tense in tents
  23. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
    There’s no menu - you get what you deserve
  24. A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes.
    That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes
  25. What washes up on tiny beaches?
    Microwaves
  26. I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday
    But I couldn't find any.
  27. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
    SUPPLIES!
  28. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought:
    “That’s the last thing I need!”