Hey,Astarionfangirls, wedid it first!(Reluctantly.)thematicincoherenceshorthairbadqueerbaitnot writtenby acreepygoth girlRiottrivialisesblood magicto the pointof mundanitypointlessvampirereferenceout-of-placemarketingbeatwriterdidn't dotheirresearchRiot fails tobalancegrotesque andhot; we getbland genericappealVA soundsanemic; lacksthe richnessof Newbon orFreemanJ-rocklookmeaninglessreference toCamavorRiot fails tobalancegrotesque andhot; we getdistasteful B-movie horrorstoryending isrushedPlayedas ajokequeerphobicclichemotivationsdon't makesenseVisual designutterly lacks thegrandeur of asupposed"Herald of theOld World"Looks likeSwaincould behis dadVlad ischarming andsassy bututterly lacking acoherentidentityBlood magicwritten likegenericvampirismlacks anyreal menacewhatsoever,makes apoor villainJesse &Jamesvibes withLeBlancHey,Astarionfangirls, wedid it first!(Reluctantly.)thematicincoherenceshorthairbadqueerbaitnot writtenby acreepygoth girlRiottrivialisesblood magicto the pointof mundanitypointlessvampirereferenceout-of-placemarketingbeatwriterdidn't dotheirresearchRiot fails tobalancegrotesque andhot; we getbland genericappealVA soundsanemic; lacksthe richnessof Newbon orFreemanJ-rocklookmeaninglessreference toCamavorRiot fails tobalancegrotesque andhot; we getdistasteful B-movie horrorstoryending isrushedPlayedas ajokequeerphobicclichemotivationsdon't makesenseVisual designutterly lacks thegrandeur of asupposed"Herald of theOld World"Looks likeSwaincould behis dadVlad ischarming andsassy bututterly lacking acoherentidentityBlood magicwritten likegenericvampirismlacks anyreal menacewhatsoever,makes apoor villainJesse &Jamesvibes withLeBlanc

Riot Vladimir Fuckup Bingo - Call List

(Print) Use this randomly generated list as your call list when playing the game. There is no need to say the BINGO column name. Place some kind of mark (like an X, a checkmark, a dot, tally mark, etc) on each cell as you announce it, to keep track. You can also cut out each item, place them in a bag and pull words from the bag.


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  1. Hey, Astarion fangirls, we did it first! (Reluctantly.)
  2. thematic incoherence
  3. short hair
  4. bad queerbait
  5. not written by a creepy goth girl
  6. Riot trivialises blood magic to the point of mundanity
  7. pointless vampire reference
  8. out-of-place marketing beat
  9. writer didn't do their research
  10. Riot fails to balance grotesque and hot; we get bland generic appeal
  11. VA sounds anemic; lacks the richness of Newbon or Freeman
  12. J-rock look
  13. meaningless reference to Camavor
  14. Riot fails to balance grotesque and hot; we get distasteful B-movie horror
  15. story ending is rushed
  16. Played as a joke
  17. queerphobic cliche
  18. motivations don't make sense
  19. Visual design utterly lacks the grandeur of a supposed "Herald of the Old World"
  20. Looks like Swain could be his dad
  21. Vlad is charming and sassy but utterly lacking a coherent identity
  22. Blood magic written like generic vampirism
  23. lacks any real menace whatsoever, makes a poor villain
  24. Jesse & James vibes with LeBlanc