The Pedant's Letter Bingo

The Pedant's Letter Bingo Card
Preview

This bingo card has a free space and 24 words: Compliments me by denigrating Becky, Wishes me well in a way that sounds bitter and fake, "I would have contacted you sooner but you said not to talk to you", Indicates he misses me because he's bored (and has no idea this is insulting), Indicates he misses me because his romantic life is tanking (and has no idea this is insulting), "I miss you because of all the stuff you did for me in bed", A bunch of backstory I didn't ask for and don't care about., Excuses re: time., Excuses re: money., Excuses re: lateness., Apologies that sound backhanded., "We could have fixed the relationship and not broken up if only you hadn't ___", "If you took me back I wouldn't be late anymore" (but he has no actual action plan to fix it), "If you took me back, I would take you places more often" (but his financial situation is the same as ever), Offers to do a bunch of things for me., Subtle implication that my wanting him to take me on dates = gold-digging materialistic whore, Florid sexy-talk, Describes me as having "seduced him" into things he would never normally do., Tone waffles wildly between contrite and passive-aggressive., "I had no idea you felt that way", Weirdly stiff and formal wording., "Write back ASAP" or other hypocritical demands., Meta-argument and Makes excuses for a thing I literally never said was an issue for me..

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