This bingo card has a free space and 29 words: Isaac pretends to be psychic to get out of an argument, UAP crash landing triggers national media firestorm. Officials don't even try to come up with a valid excuse., Ellen starts a podcast after she runs out of show royalties. Dhar Mann is a guest in the first episode., Alcubierre drive prorotype built by USAF. Accidentally switched on by careless intern, 10 sq miles of Nebraskan wilderness spaghettified., Mitt Romney releases a sexy calendar to raise money for reelection. Breaks previous fundraising records, Isaac searches the recipe for napalm on a work computer and forgets to delete the search history., Psilocybin, MDMA, and LSA approved for medicinal use by 2025, Warren Buffet slips into a Dairy-Queen induced coma. Wakes up claiming to have been visited by three spirits. Donates entire net worth to the Global Relief Foundation., Abortion successfully outlawed in 33 states., Ben Carson was dead the whole time., Isaac gets a summer job at a firewatch tower and refuses to leave., Brexit occurs without warning on Wednesday 1 of May, 2024., Eastern Oregon cult under investigation for mass manufacture of ricin. "We promise this is nothing like the last time," says spokeswoman., Montauk AFB vanishes. 4-Star General claims, on the record, that it never existed., Isaac finally snaps and gives Ryan his most braindead takes to get him to stop talking., Trump does not win the 2024 presidential election. Dies shortly afterward., Robert Pattinson films a promo with Nubilesfilm because he secretly wanted to anyway., Tucker Carlson accidentally supports biological warfare., Donald Trump is never prosecuted., Isaac finally reads the Monas Hieroglyphica, getting way too into esotericism and tries to put a curse on Greg Locke., Assassination attempt against Gretchen Whitmer, Elon Musk builds a Gonk Droid and sells it for $14,000. It is functionless., Matt Gaetz goes to jail., Radiation leak in Florida causes a portion of the Gulf of Mexico to be uninhabitable., Deadly dormant virus released by archeological dig in Egypt, triggering regional quarantine and a Mummy reboot., Homeless population in LA county exceeds 10% of total population., Pfizer fined $250,000 for using human clones as experiment guinea pigs. Clones euthanized by firing squad., Mark Zuckerburg ousted from META. and Hank Smith gets a sunburn so bad he wears a compression mask to a speaking event..
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