Do you think ofyourself as lesscompetent, confident,sane or patient sincegetting together withyour partner?Do you find yourselfblaming other peoplefor the choices yourpartner makes? (I.e.other partners, boss,family.)When you ask toclarify expectationsor agreements, doesyour partner respondpassively or pretendthey have no control?Has your partnertold you "you're theonly person whodoes this for me"?Would other peoplein their life find thishurtful?Does your partnerask to use yourphone, emailaddress or bankinformation fortheir ownpurposes?Do you dodisproportionatework to make therelationshipfunction? Does itmostly rely on youreffort?Does your partneravoid admitting tomistakes theyhave made incurrent or pastrelationships?Do yousometimes feellike you're on aroller coaster,highs very high,lows very low?Do you feellike you haveto apologizeall the time?Does your partnerprocess sensitivethings with youthat they shouldprocess withsomeone else?Are youexceptionallychallenged byrough feelingsabout one of yourpartner's otherpartners?Did your partnerescalate therelationship veryquickly or set upexpectations in anunsustainable way?Has your partnertreated otherpartners in a waythat you would findunacceptable if theytreated you thatway?Do you spend moretime with a partnerwho can't meet yourneeds than youspend looking for apartner who would?Does your partnerexpect you to domost of the workaround birth control,abortion or STIprevention?Does your partnerput limited effortinto attendingimportant eventsor participating inyour life?Has your partner toldyou that one of theirother partners is"controlling", "needy","jealous", or"threatened"?Has your partnerbeen hurtful andthen called youdefensive, jealous,insecure orneedy?Has your partnerever said somethinglike "you know whatyou signed up for"when you bring upyour needs?.Do you sometimeswant to talk to yourpartner's otherpartners simplybecause what yourpartner is telling youisn't adding up?Is something isgetting in the wayof you gettingphysical needsmet (food, meds,sleep)?Do you feel bad,guilty, frustrated ordepressed aboutyour relationshipeven when nothing"bad" is happening?Has your partnertold younegative thingsother partnershave said aboutyou?Has your partnercoerced you orother partners tohave abortionsor children?Do you accept poortreatment orabsence from yourpartner that youwouldn't acceptfrom friends orfamily?Does your partnersay things thatdon't seemhonest? Wouldother partners callthem dishonest?When you bringissues to yourpartner do theydeflect or receivefeedback poorlyinstead of work withyou?Do your friends*outside of yourpartner's friendgroup* think youcan do better?Did your partnerprovide you morecare, affection andtime in the beginningthan they do now?Would you like more?Does your partnerhave poorboundaries? Do youknow things aboutother partners thatyou shouldn't?Is your partnerdisinterested inmeeting yourfriends orfamily? Wouldyou like more?Does your partnerask you to work onproblems butunresponsive whenyou ask them to dothe same?Do you feel that youare in anenvironment ofscarcity orcompetition? Are youtold you're asking fortoo much?Has your partnerdiscouraged you fromspeaking to otherpartners OR askedyou to talk to othersabout issues yourpartner shouldhandle?Do you think ofyourself as lesscompetent, confident,sane or patient sincegetting together withyour partner?Do you find yourselfblaming other peoplefor the choices yourpartner makes? (I.e.other partners, boss,family.)When you ask toclarify expectationsor agreements, doesyour partner respondpassively or pretendthey have no control?Has your partnertold you "you're theonly person whodoes this for me"?Would other peoplein their life find thishurtful?Does your partnerask to use yourphone, emailaddress or bankinformation fortheir ownpurposes?Do you dodisproportionatework to make therelationshipfunction? Does itmostly rely on youreffort?Does your partneravoid admitting tomistakes theyhave made incurrent or pastrelationships?Do yousometimes feellike you're on aroller coaster,highs very high,lows very low?Do you feellike you haveto apologizeall the time?Does your partnerprocess sensitivethings with youthat they shouldprocess withsomeone else?Are youexceptionallychallenged byrough feelingsabout one of yourpartner's otherpartners?Did your partnerescalate therelationship veryquickly or set upexpectations in anunsustainable way?Has your partnertreated otherpartners in a waythat you would findunacceptable if theytreated you thatway?Do you spend moretime with a partnerwho can't meet yourneeds than youspend looking for apartner who would?Does your partnerexpect you to domost of the workaround birth control,abortion or STIprevention?Does your partnerput limited effortinto attendingimportant eventsor participating inyour life?Has your partner toldyou that one of theirother partners is"controlling", "needy","jealous", or"threatened"?Has your partnerbeen hurtful andthen called youdefensive, jealous,insecure orneedy?Has your partnerever said somethinglike "you know whatyou signed up for"when you bring upyour needs?.Do you sometimeswant to talk to yourpartner's otherpartners simplybecause what yourpartner is telling youisn't adding up?Is something isgetting in the wayof you gettingphysical needsmet (food, meds,sleep)?Do you feel bad,guilty, frustrated ordepressed aboutyour relationshipeven when nothing"bad" is happening?Has your partnertold younegative thingsother partnershave said aboutyou?Has your partnercoerced you orother partners tohave abortionsor children?Do you accept poortreatment orabsence from yourpartner that youwouldn't acceptfrom friends orfamily?Does your partnersay things thatdon't seemhonest? Wouldother partners callthem dishonest?When you bringissues to yourpartner do theydeflect or receivefeedback poorlyinstead of work withyou?Do your friends*outside of yourpartner's friendgroup* think youcan do better?Did your partnerprovide you morecare, affection andtime in the beginningthan they do now?Would you like more?Does your partnerhave poorboundaries? Do youknow things aboutother partners thatyou shouldn't?Is your partnerdisinterested inmeeting yourfriends orfamily? Wouldyou like more?Does your partnerask you to work onproblems butunresponsive whenyou ask them to dothe same?Do you feel that youare in anenvironment ofscarcity orcompetition? Are youtold you're asking fortoo much?Has your partnerdiscouraged you fromspeaking to otherpartners OR askedyou to talk to othersabout issues yourpartner shouldhandle?

Can You Do Better/Bad Polyamory Bingo - Call List

(Print) Use this randomly generated list as your call list when playing the game. There is no need to say the BINGO column name. Place some kind of mark (like an X, a checkmark, a dot, tally mark, etc) on each cell as you announce it, to keep track. You can also cut out each item, place them in a bag and pull words from the bag.


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  1. Do you think of yourself as less competent, confident, sane or patient since getting together with your partner?
  2. Do you find yourself blaming other people for the choices your partner makes? (I.e. other partners, boss, family.)
  3. When you ask to clarify expectations or agreements, does your partner respond passively or pretend they have no control?
  4. Has your partner told you "you're the only person who does this for me"? Would other people in their life find this hurtful?
  5. Does your partner ask to use your phone, email address or bank information for their own purposes?
  6. Do you do disproportionate work to make the relationship function? Does it mostly rely on your effort?
  7. Does your partner avoid admitting to mistakes they have made in current or past relationships?
  8. Do you sometimes feel like you're on a roller coaster, highs very high, lows very low?
  9. Do you feel like you have to apologize all the time?
  10. Does your partner process sensitive things with you that they should process with someone else?
  11. Are you exceptionally challenged by rough feelings about one of your partner's other partners?
  12. Did your partner escalate the relationship very quickly or set up expectations in an unsustainable way?
  13. Has your partner treated other partners in a way that you would find unacceptable if they treated you that way?
  14. Do you spend more time with a partner who can't meet your needs than you spend looking for a partner who would?
  15. Does your partner expect you to do most of the work around birth control, abortion or STI prevention?
  16. Does your partner put limited effort into attending important events or participating in your life?
  17. Has your partner told you that one of their other partners is "controlling", "needy", "jealous", or "threatened"?
  18. Has your partner been hurtful and then called you defensive, jealous, insecure or needy?
  19. Has your partner ever said something like "you know what you signed up for" when you bring up your needs?.
  20. Do you sometimes want to talk to your partner's other partners simply because what your partner is telling you isn't adding up?
  21. Is something is getting in the way of you getting physical needs met (food, meds, sleep)?
  22. Do you feel bad, guilty, frustrated or depressed about your relationship even when nothing "bad" is happening?
  23. Has your partner told you negative things other partners have said about you?
  24. Has your partner coerced you or other partners to have abortions or children?
  25. Do you accept poor treatment or absence from your partner that you wouldn't accept from friends or family?
  26. Does your partner say things that don't seem honest? Would other partners call them dishonest?
  27. When you bring issues to your partner do they deflect or receive feedback poorly instead of work with you?
  28. Do your friends *outside of your partner's friend group* think you can do better?
  29. Did your partner provide you more care, affection and time in the beginning than they do now? Would you like more?
  30. Does your partner have poor boundaries? Do you know things about other partners that you shouldn't?
  31. Is your partner disinterested in meeting your friends or family? Would you like more?
  32. Does your partner ask you to work on problems but unresponsive when you ask them to do the same?
  33. Do you feel that you are in an environment of scarcity or competition? Are you told you're asking for too much?
  34. Has your partner discouraged you from speaking to other partners OR asked you to talk to others about issues your partner should handle?