"Call me!" you get voicemail Upgrade fixes issue, client doesn't want to upgrade Clipped hold music "You've reach the end of the numbers!" Escalation Call MDT, nobody answers MDT Actually Answers Weird flute or whistle music while on hold User Error Client updates the case, then calls repeatedly Phone system is alternating voices for each choice OUTAGE 15m of access issues Case is high or urgent, issue is trivial Client thinks you're the greatest for a simple fix "The credit union is now closed" The phone system has a first name Typed in the name, get someone else Code is old enough to drive Case is high or urgent, issue has existed for "a while" Half the directory is no name, just extension number Client clicked callback button, didn't explain why Voicemail is full The employee directory is the LAST CHOICE Voicemail is not set up yet Hold time of 5 minutes or more Voicemail has neither extension nor name Who needs last names in an employee directory? Not this client "can you give any insight..." Have to sit through entire directory Client says they followed steps, but didn't PDF Crashes where the settings are wrong Client who is always a jerk Phone system too cheerful First option in directory is asking if you want the directory Rare products: ACSJ, CIR, OnBase, HMDA Client has opened several cases in a row, only answers phone once. Code is an unsupported nightmare "The release broke it" but it never worked Network issues "but our network is fine" Case is a word salad, client isn't much better Code is old enough to drink Third- Party IT Staff No way to talk to a human Phone system voice is clearly a screen reader Client is mad about the answer (not an upgrade) No employee directory Directory spells every name "Call me!" you get voicemail Upgrade fixes issue, client doesn't want to upgrade Clipped hold music "You've reach the end of the numbers!" Escalation Call MDT, nobody answers MDT Actually Answers Weird flute or whistle music while on hold User Error Client updates the case, then calls repeatedly Phone system is alternating voices for each choice OUTAGE 15m of access issues Case is high or urgent, issue is trivial Client thinks you're the greatest for a simple fix "The credit union is now closed" The phone system has a first name Typed in the name, get someone else Code is old enough to drive Case is high or urgent, issue has existed for "a while" Half the directory is no name, just extension number Client clicked callback button, didn't explain why Voicemail is full The employee directory is the LAST CHOICE Voicemail is not set up yet Hold time of 5 minutes or more Voicemail has neither extension nor name Who needs last names in an employee directory? Not this client "can you give any insight..." Have to sit through entire directory Client says they followed steps, but didn't PDF Crashes where the settings are wrong Client who is always a jerk Phone system too cheerful First option in directory is asking if you want the directory Rare products: ACSJ, CIR, OnBase, HMDA Client has opened several cases in a row, only answers phone once. Code is an unsupported nightmare "The release broke it" but it never worked Network issues "but our network is fine" Case is a word salad, client isn't much better Code is old enough to drink Third- Party IT Staff No way to talk to a human Phone system voice is clearly a screen reader Client is mad about the answer (not an upgrade) No employee directory Directory spells every name
(Print)
"Call me!" you get voicemail
Upgrade fixes issue, client doesn't want to upgrade
Clipped hold music
"You've reach the end of the numbers!"
Escalation
Call MDT, nobody answers
MDT Actually Answers
Weird flute or whistle music while on hold
User Error
Client updates the case, then calls repeatedly
Phone system is alternating voices for each choice
OUTAGE
15m of access issues
Case is high or urgent, issue is trivial
Client thinks you're the greatest for a simple fix
"The credit union is now closed"
The phone system has a first name
Typed in the name, get someone else
Code is old enough to drive
Case is high or urgent, issue has existed for "a while"
Half the directory is no name, just extension number
Client clicked callback button, didn't explain why
Voicemail is full
The employee directory is the LAST CHOICE
Voicemail is not set up yet
Hold time of 5 minutes or more
Voicemail has neither extension nor name
Who needs last names in an employee directory? Not this client
"can you give any insight..."
Have to sit through entire directory
Client says they followed steps, but didn't
PDF Crashes where the settings are wrong
Client who is always a jerk
Phone system too cheerful
First option in directory is asking if you want the directory
Rare products: ACSJ, CIR, OnBase, HMDA
Client has opened several cases in a row, only answers phone once.
Code is an unsupported nightmare
"The release broke it" but it never worked
Network issues "but our network is fine"
Case is a word salad, client isn't much better
Code is old enough to drink
Third-Party IT Staff
No way to talk to a human
Phone system voice is clearly a screen reader
Client is mad about the answer (not an upgrade)
No employee directory
Directory spells every name
