Case is high or urgent, issue has existed for "a while" MDT Actually Answers Escalation Code is an unsupported nightmare Code is old enough to drive No employee directory Client updates the case, then calls repeatedly Client says they followed steps, but didn't Upgrade fixes issue, client doesn't want to upgrade 15m of access issues "The credit union is now closed" Voicemail has neither extension nor name Client thinks you're the greatest for a simple fix Half the directory is no name, just extension number OUTAGE Have to sit through entire directory Code is old enough to drink Directory spells every name PDF Crashes where the settings are wrong Case is a word salad, client isn't much better Case is high or urgent, issue is trivial The phone system has a first name Phone system voice is clearly a screen reader Client clicked callback button, didn't explain why First option in directory is asking if you want the directory Typed in the name, get someone else Network issues "but our network is fine" Client is mad about the answer (not an upgrade) "can you give any insight..." Phone system too cheerful No way to talk to a human Client who is always a jerk User Error Phone system is alternating voices for each choice Weird flute or whistle music while on hold Rare products: ACSJ, CIR, OnBase, HMDA Who needs last names in an employee directory? Not this client Voicemail is not set up yet "Call me!" you get voicemail "The release broke it" but it never worked Client has opened several cases in a row, only answers phone once. "You've reach the end of the numbers!" Clipped hold music Call MDT, nobody answers Hold time of 5 minutes or more Voicemail is full The employee directory is the LAST CHOICE Third- Party IT Staff Case is high or urgent, issue has existed for "a while" MDT Actually Answers Escalation Code is an unsupported nightmare Code is old enough to drive No employee directory Client updates the case, then calls repeatedly Client says they followed steps, but didn't Upgrade fixes issue, client doesn't want to upgrade 15m of access issues "The credit union is now closed" Voicemail has neither extension nor name Client thinks you're the greatest for a simple fix Half the directory is no name, just extension number OUTAGE Have to sit through entire directory Code is old enough to drink Directory spells every name PDF Crashes where the settings are wrong Case is a word salad, client isn't much better Case is high or urgent, issue is trivial The phone system has a first name Phone system voice is clearly a screen reader Client clicked callback button, didn't explain why First option in directory is asking if you want the directory Typed in the name, get someone else Network issues "but our network is fine" Client is mad about the answer (not an upgrade) "can you give any insight..." Phone system too cheerful No way to talk to a human Client who is always a jerk User Error Phone system is alternating voices for each choice Weird flute or whistle music while on hold Rare products: ACSJ, CIR, OnBase, HMDA Who needs last names in an employee directory? Not this client Voicemail is not set up yet "Call me!" you get voicemail "The release broke it" but it never worked Client has opened several cases in a row, only answers phone once. "You've reach the end of the numbers!" Clipped hold music Call MDT, nobody answers Hold time of 5 minutes or more Voicemail is full The employee directory is the LAST CHOICE Third- Party IT Staff
(Print)
Case is high or urgent, issue has existed for "a while"
MDT Actually Answers
Escalation
Code is an unsupported nightmare
Code is old enough to drive
No employee directory
Client updates the case, then calls repeatedly
Client says they followed steps, but didn't
Upgrade fixes issue, client doesn't want to upgrade
15m of access issues
"The credit union is now closed"
Voicemail has neither extension nor name
Client thinks you're the greatest for a simple fix
Half the directory is no name, just extension number
OUTAGE
Have to sit through entire directory
Code is old enough to drink
Directory spells every name
PDF Crashes where the settings are wrong
Case is a word salad, client isn't much better
Case is high or urgent, issue is trivial
The phone system has a first name
Phone system voice is clearly a screen reader
Client clicked callback button, didn't explain why
First option in directory is asking if you want the directory
Typed in the name, get someone else
Network issues "but our network is fine"
Client is mad about the answer (not an upgrade)
"can you give any insight..."
Phone system too cheerful
No way to talk to a human
Client who is always a jerk
User Error
Phone system is alternating voices for each choice
Weird flute or whistle music while on hold
Rare products: ACSJ, CIR, OnBase, HMDA
Who needs last names in an employee directory? Not this client
Voicemail is not set up yet
"Call me!" you get voicemail
"The release broke it" but it never worked
Client has opened several cases in a row, only answers phone once.
"You've reach the end of the numbers!"
Clipped hold music
Call MDT, nobody answers
Hold time of 5 minutes or more
Voicemail is full
The employee directory is the LAST CHOICE
Third-Party IT Staff
