"Giant flying pineapple lands in London’s Tower Hill.", Oprah buys Twitter, bans all politicians Pope live- streams Fortnite tournament fundraiser Saudi Arabia unveils floating desert embassy CDC recommends hugging goats for health Kim Kardashian wins Nobel Peace Prize "Oreos declare independence from Nabisco.", Beyoncé buys entire island of Malta Lady Gaga knighted by King Charles UK sells Buckingham Palace to Jeff Bezos Congress debates outlawing pineapple on pizza "Penguins spotted taking over Miami Beach.", "Trump starts reality TV, declares presidency.", Biden accidentally tweets nuclear launch codes NASA confirms moon filled with cheese "Humans accidentally clone ancient woolly mammoth’s sweater.", Texas secedes, joins NATO instead Russia trades oil for Taylor Swift tickets Ukraine replaces tanks with trained bears Biden calls Merkel “Mom” in G20 "Mars colony sends first meme back.", Rudy Giuliani opens vampire- themed steakhouse Florida bans clouds for hurricane season Putin opens McDonald’s- themed peace summit Zelensky moonwalks into NATO press conference "Holographic pizza becomes the new currency.", "Vegans build vegan- only island, ban all burgers.", "Wizards compete in official spelling bee.", Alex Jones arrested for moon landing "Fake moon landing footage accidentally aired again.", "Smart sofas refuse to get up, start rebellion.", Zelensky wins Nobel for sarcastic tweet UN holds peace talks inside IKEA Ukraine trades Crimea for Black Sea resort Elon Musk launches Dogecoin- only Mars mission "Weather app predicts daily weather based on mood.", China bans exports of sarcasm globally Dwayne Johnson becomes head of NATO "Aliens buy all Earth’s seaside properties.", North Korea bans color blue nationwide Israel legalizes teleportation for military use Tom Hanks becomes King of Canada Switzerland votes to invade Liechtenstein “for fun” Germany mandates lederhosen in parliament Fridays "Secret society runs for local office on Mars.", "Olympic games hosted on a giant floating iceberg.", Stormy Daniels elected Mayor of Vegas "Self-driving cars unionize and demand rights.", UN declares pizza a global currency Taylor Swift’s cat wins Senate seat "Giant inflatable Godzilla sighted in Venice canals.", Russian oligarch buys entire Swiss village "Clouds form funny shapes causing traffic jams.", Bernie Sanders starts punk rock band Putin wins judo match against robot Global trade rerouted through Amazon drones NATO accepts Antarctica as member state Global summit held entirely on Discord "Dinosaur skeleton wallet stolen from museum.", Trump declares Florida independent “Trump Nation” Elon Musk proposes Mars- Israel peace plan Yemen declares national llama appreciation day France renames baguettes “freedom bread” again Trump paints Mount Rushmore with Sharpie Senate filibuster broken by kazoo protest Zelensky stars in Broadway musical “Kyiv!” "Panda protests for better bamboo rights.", "UFO claims diplomatic immunity from NASA.", "Fake news creates a new country in Africa.", Trump auctions Oval Office on eBay "Ancient aliens leave SOS sign in New Mexico desert.", Iran blames inflation on Western emojis Trump claims Statue of Liberty is fake US-Mexico border replaced with bounce houses UN sanctions Belarus for bad vibes Jeff Goldblum discovers lost city under Arby’s Ukraine exports snowball weapons to Finland Rudy Giuliani bitten by emotional support bat Israeli PM replaced by Shakira impersonator Swedish cows break world escape record "Elon Musk announces AI pet dinosaur.", "Cows form union for better field conditions.", China claims moon in surprise TikTok Congress renames Tuesday “Freedom Ham Day” Supreme Court rules cats are citizens "Bigfoot spotted grocery shopping in Ohio.", AI wins Pulitzer Prize for poetry Kanye West opens church on Mars "Secret underground city found inside Mount Everest.", "Martians open interplanetary yoga studio.", Turkey pays EU in doner kebabs Kamala Harris challenges Elon Musk to duel Iran discovers oil under Starbucks location "Carrots start a protest for better soil treatment.", Taylor Swift mediates Israel- Palestine talks Brazil builds jungle embassy in Antarctica "Leprechauns organize worldwide treasure hunt.", North Korea offers peace for pizza rolls "Hologram Elvis performs at Glastonbury Festival.", "Ghosts demand rent from haunted house owners.", "Nuclear- powered bicycle races held in Switzerland.", NASA reveals Saturn smells like Axe Poland bans Excel after “data trauma” EU mandates nap time in parliament "Talking parrots run for mayor in Florida.", US Mint issues glittery $3 bill Zuckerberg unveils mind-reading Meta contacts Trump builds golden hotel on Moon "Dogs hold secret puppet show for humans.", "Fake viral meme causes stock market to crash.", China launches TikTok- controlled moon rover Trump pardons himself via skywriting plane "Cats demand equal rights in human government.", "Aliens demand rights during UN meeting.", India launches “No Meetings Mondays” global treaty Australia trades uranium for French cheese "Weather forecast predicts raining chocolate chips.", "Time traveler forgets keys in 2024, causes chaos.", Gaza ceasefire brokered by K-pop band US-China tariff dispute ends in karaoke Israel elects AI chatbot as president Dennis Rodman negotiates alien peace treaty Netflix airs 24/7 Joe Rogan channel NATO summit invaded by wild peacocks World leaders compete in Mario Kart "World’s largest rubber duck declared a sovereign nation.", Jeff Bezos builds underwater Amazon city North Korea joins Paris Fashion Week "Subway stations renamed after famous memes.", Israel- Palestine truce signed on Minecraft server Putin records EDM album for diplomacy Russia accidentally sanctions itself, blames hackers "Lizard people announce new government in secret.", Ukraine sells captured tanks on eBay "Rain of glitter prompts citywide celebration.", Canada mistakenly invades Wisconsin during drill Wal-Mart recalls radioactive shrimp (again) "Global cheese shortage triggers riot in France.", Palestine recognized by Vatican City esports team Global South forms anti-G7 boy band Beyoncé replaces Lincoln on penny design Greta Thunberg powers Iceland with frowns "Nuclear toaster causes nationwide panic.", Trump wears Crocs to UN Summit Trump declares war on New Jersey Putin appears on Dancing With Stars "Worldwide shortage of invisible ink causes chaos.", "Artificial sun created in basement in Texas." "Giant flying pineapple lands in London’s Tower Hill.", Oprah buys Twitter, bans all politicians Pope live- streams Fortnite tournament fundraiser Saudi Arabia unveils floating desert embassy CDC recommends hugging goats for health Kim Kardashian wins Nobel Peace Prize "Oreos declare independence from Nabisco.", Beyoncé buys entire island of Malta Lady Gaga knighted by King Charles UK sells Buckingham Palace to Jeff Bezos Congress debates outlawing pineapple on pizza "Penguins spotted taking over Miami Beach.", "Trump starts reality TV, declares presidency.", Biden accidentally tweets nuclear launch codes NASA confirms moon filled with cheese "Humans accidentally clone ancient woolly mammoth’s sweater.", Texas secedes, joins NATO instead Russia trades oil for Taylor Swift tickets Ukraine replaces tanks with trained bears Biden calls Merkel “Mom” in G20 "Mars colony sends first meme back.", Rudy Giuliani opens vampire- themed steakhouse Florida bans clouds for hurricane season Putin opens McDonald’s- themed peace summit Zelensky moonwalks into NATO press conference "Holographic pizza becomes the new currency.", "Vegans build vegan- only island, ban all burgers.", "Wizards compete in official spelling bee.", Alex Jones arrested for moon landing "Fake moon landing footage accidentally aired again.", "Smart sofas refuse to get up, start rebellion.", Zelensky wins Nobel for sarcastic tweet UN holds peace talks inside IKEA Ukraine trades Crimea for Black Sea resort Elon Musk launches Dogecoin- only Mars mission "Weather app predicts daily weather based on mood.", China bans exports of sarcasm globally Dwayne Johnson becomes head of NATO "Aliens buy all Earth’s seaside properties.", North Korea bans color blue nationwide Israel legalizes teleportation for military use Tom Hanks becomes King of Canada Switzerland votes to invade Liechtenstein “for fun” Germany mandates lederhosen in parliament Fridays "Secret society runs for local office on Mars.", "Olympic games hosted on a giant floating iceberg.", Stormy Daniels elected Mayor of Vegas "Self-driving cars unionize and demand rights.", UN declares pizza a global currency Taylor Swift’s cat wins Senate seat "Giant inflatable Godzilla sighted in Venice canals.", Russian oligarch buys entire Swiss village "Clouds form funny shapes causing traffic jams.", Bernie Sanders starts punk rock band Putin wins judo match against robot Global trade rerouted through Amazon drones NATO accepts Antarctica as member state Global summit held entirely on Discord "Dinosaur skeleton wallet stolen from museum.", Trump declares Florida independent “Trump Nation” Elon Musk proposes Mars- Israel peace plan Yemen declares national llama appreciation day France renames baguettes “freedom bread” again Trump paints Mount Rushmore with Sharpie Senate filibuster broken by kazoo protest Zelensky stars in Broadway musical “Kyiv!” "Panda protests for better bamboo rights.", "UFO claims diplomatic immunity from NASA.", "Fake news creates a new country in Africa.", Trump auctions Oval Office on eBay "Ancient aliens leave SOS sign in New Mexico desert.", Iran blames inflation on Western emojis Trump claims Statue of Liberty is fake US-Mexico border replaced with bounce houses UN sanctions Belarus for bad vibes Jeff Goldblum discovers lost city under Arby’s Ukraine exports snowball weapons to Finland Rudy Giuliani bitten by emotional support bat Israeli PM replaced by Shakira impersonator Swedish cows break world escape record "Elon Musk announces AI pet dinosaur.", "Cows form union for better field conditions.", China claims moon in surprise TikTok Congress renames Tuesday “Freedom Ham Day” Supreme Court rules cats are citizens "Bigfoot spotted grocery shopping in Ohio.", AI wins Pulitzer Prize for poetry Kanye West opens church on Mars "Secret underground city found inside Mount Everest.", "Martians open interplanetary yoga studio.", Turkey pays EU in doner kebabs Kamala Harris challenges Elon Musk to duel Iran discovers oil under Starbucks location "Carrots start a protest for better soil treatment.", Taylor Swift mediates Israel- Palestine talks Brazil builds jungle embassy in Antarctica "Leprechauns organize worldwide treasure hunt.", North Korea offers peace for pizza rolls "Hologram Elvis performs at Glastonbury Festival.", "Ghosts demand rent from haunted house owners.", "Nuclear- powered bicycle races held in Switzerland.", NASA reveals Saturn smells like Axe Poland bans Excel after “data trauma” EU mandates nap time in parliament "Talking parrots run for mayor in Florida.", US Mint issues glittery $3 bill Zuckerberg unveils mind-reading Meta contacts Trump builds golden hotel on Moon "Dogs hold secret puppet show for humans.", "Fake viral meme causes stock market to crash.", China launches TikTok- controlled moon rover Trump pardons himself via skywriting plane "Cats demand equal rights in human government.", "Aliens demand rights during UN meeting.", India launches “No Meetings Mondays” global treaty Australia trades uranium for French cheese "Weather forecast predicts raining chocolate chips.", "Time traveler forgets keys in 2024, causes chaos.", Gaza ceasefire brokered by K-pop band US-China tariff dispute ends in karaoke Israel elects AI chatbot as president Dennis Rodman negotiates alien peace treaty Netflix airs 24/7 Joe Rogan channel NATO summit invaded by wild peacocks World leaders compete in Mario Kart "World’s largest rubber duck declared a sovereign nation.", Jeff Bezos builds underwater Amazon city North Korea joins Paris Fashion Week "Subway stations renamed after famous memes.", Israel- Palestine truce signed on Minecraft server Putin records EDM album for diplomacy Russia accidentally sanctions itself, blames hackers "Lizard people announce new government in secret.", Ukraine sells captured tanks on eBay "Rain of glitter prompts citywide celebration.", Canada mistakenly invades Wisconsin during drill Wal-Mart recalls radioactive shrimp (again) "Global cheese shortage triggers riot in France.", Palestine recognized by Vatican City esports team Global South forms anti-G7 boy band Beyoncé replaces Lincoln on penny design Greta Thunberg powers Iceland with frowns "Nuclear toaster causes nationwide panic.", Trump wears Crocs to UN Summit Trump declares war on New Jersey Putin appears on Dancing With Stars "Worldwide shortage of invisible ink causes chaos.", "Artificial sun created in basement in Texas."
(Print)
"Giant flying pineapple lands in London’s Tower Hill.",
Oprah buys Twitter, bans all politicians
Pope live-streams Fortnite tournament fundraiser
Saudi Arabia unveils floating desert embassy
CDC recommends hugging goats for health
Kim Kardashian wins Nobel Peace Prize
"Oreos declare independence from Nabisco.",
Beyoncé buys entire island of Malta
Lady Gaga knighted by King Charles
UK sells Buckingham Palace to Jeff Bezos
Congress debates outlawing pineapple on pizza
"Penguins spotted taking over Miami Beach.",
"Trump starts reality TV, declares presidency.",
Biden accidentally tweets nuclear launch codes
NASA confirms moon filled with cheese
"Humans accidentally clone ancient woolly mammoth’s sweater.",
Texas secedes, joins NATO instead
Russia trades oil for Taylor Swift tickets
Ukraine replaces tanks with trained bears
Biden calls Merkel “Mom” in G20
"Mars colony sends first meme back.",
Rudy Giuliani opens vampire-themed steakhouse
Florida bans clouds for hurricane season
Putin opens McDonald’s-themed peace summit
Zelensky moonwalks into NATO press conference
"Holographic pizza becomes the new currency.",
"Vegans build vegan-only island, ban all burgers.",
"Wizards compete in official spelling bee.",
Alex Jones arrested for moon landing
"Fake moon landing footage accidentally aired again.",
"Smart sofas refuse to get up, start rebellion.",
Zelensky wins Nobel for sarcastic tweet
UN holds peace talks inside IKEA
Ukraine trades Crimea for Black Sea resort
Elon Musk launches Dogecoin-only Mars mission
"Weather app predicts daily weather based on mood.",
China bans exports of sarcasm globally
Dwayne Johnson becomes head of NATO
"Aliens buy all Earth’s seaside properties.",
North Korea bans color blue nationwide
Israel legalizes teleportation for military use
Tom Hanks becomes King of Canada
Switzerland votes to invade Liechtenstein “for fun”
Germany mandates lederhosen in parliament Fridays
"Secret society runs for local office on Mars.",
"Olympic games hosted on a giant floating iceberg.",
Stormy Daniels elected Mayor of Vegas
"Self-driving cars unionize and demand rights.",
UN declares pizza a global currency
Taylor Swift’s cat wins Senate seat
"Giant inflatable Godzilla sighted in Venice canals.",
Russian oligarch buys entire Swiss village
"Clouds form funny shapes causing traffic jams.",
Bernie Sanders starts punk rock band
Putin wins judo match against robot
Global trade rerouted through Amazon drones
NATO accepts Antarctica as member state
Global summit held entirely on Discord
"Dinosaur skeleton wallet stolen from museum.",
Trump declares Florida independent “Trump Nation”
Elon Musk proposes Mars-Israel peace plan
Yemen declares national llama appreciation day
France renames baguettes “freedom bread” again
Trump paints Mount Rushmore with Sharpie
Senate filibuster broken by kazoo protest
Zelensky stars in Broadway musical “Kyiv!”
"Panda protests for better bamboo rights.",
"UFO claims diplomatic immunity from NASA.",
"Fake news creates a new country in Africa.",
Trump auctions Oval Office on eBay
"Ancient aliens leave SOS sign in New Mexico desert.",
Iran blames inflation on Western emojis
Trump claims Statue of Liberty is fake
US-Mexico border replaced with bounce houses
UN sanctions Belarus for bad vibes
Jeff Goldblum discovers lost city under Arby’s
Ukraine exports snowball weapons to Finland
Rudy Giuliani bitten by emotional support bat
Israeli PM replaced by Shakira impersonator
Swedish cows break world escape record
"Elon Musk announces AI pet dinosaur.",
"Cows form union for better field conditions.",
China claims moon in surprise TikTok
Congress renames Tuesday “Freedom Ham Day”
Supreme Court rules cats are citizens
"Bigfoot spotted grocery shopping in Ohio.",
AI wins Pulitzer Prize for poetry
Kanye West opens church on Mars
"Secret underground city found inside Mount Everest.",
"Martians open interplanetary yoga studio.",
Turkey pays EU in doner kebabs
Kamala Harris challenges Elon Musk to duel
Iran discovers oil under Starbucks location
"Carrots start a protest for better soil treatment.",
Taylor Swift mediates Israel-Palestine talks
Brazil builds jungle embassy in Antarctica
"Leprechauns organize worldwide treasure hunt.",
North Korea offers peace for pizza rolls
"Hologram Elvis performs at Glastonbury Festival.",
"Ghosts demand rent from haunted house owners.",
"Nuclear-powered bicycle races held in Switzerland.",
NASA reveals Saturn smells like Axe
Poland bans Excel after “data trauma”
EU mandates nap time in parliament
"Talking parrots run for mayor in Florida.",
US Mint issues glittery $3 bill
Zuckerberg unveils mind-reading Meta contacts
Trump builds golden hotel on Moon
"Dogs hold secret puppet show for humans.",
"Fake viral meme causes stock market to crash.",
China launches TikTok-controlled moon rover
Trump pardons himself via skywriting plane
"Cats demand equal rights in human government.",
"Aliens demand rights during UN meeting.",
India launches “No Meetings Mondays” global treaty
Australia trades uranium for French cheese
"Weather forecast predicts raining chocolate chips.",
"Time traveler forgets keys in 2024, causes chaos.",
Gaza ceasefire brokered by K-pop band
US-China tariff dispute ends in karaoke
Israel elects AI chatbot as president
Dennis Rodman negotiates alien peace treaty
Netflix airs 24/7 Joe Rogan channel
NATO summit invaded by wild peacocks
World leaders compete in Mario Kart
"World’s largest rubber duck declared a sovereign nation.",
Jeff Bezos builds underwater Amazon city
North Korea joins Paris Fashion Week
"Subway stations renamed after famous memes.",
Israel-Palestine truce signed on Minecraft server
Putin records EDM album for diplomacy
Russia accidentally sanctions itself, blames hackers
"Lizard people announce new government in secret.",
Ukraine sells captured tanks on eBay
"Rain of glitter prompts citywide celebration.",
Canada mistakenly invades Wisconsin during drill
Wal-Mart recalls radioactive shrimp (again)
"Global cheese shortage triggers riot in France.",
Palestine recognized by Vatican City esports team
Global South forms anti-G7 boy band
Beyoncé replaces Lincoln on penny design
Greta Thunberg powers Iceland with frowns
"Nuclear toaster causes nationwide panic.",
Trump wears Crocs to UN Summit
Trump declares war on New Jersey
Putin appears on Dancing With Stars
"Worldwide shortage of invisible ink causes chaos.",
"Artificial sun created in basement in Texas."
