Rudy Giuliani opens vampire- themed steakhouse UK sells Buckingham Palace to Jeff Bezos "Weather app predicts daily weather based on mood.", "UFO claims diplomatic immunity from NASA.", Lady Gaga knighted by King Charles Turkey pays EU in doner kebabs "Holographic pizza becomes the new currency.", CDC recommends hugging goats for health "Vegans build vegan- only island, ban all burgers.", Iran discovers oil under Starbucks location NASA reveals Saturn smells like Axe "Mars colony sends first meme back.", Australia trades uranium for French cheese Ukraine sells captured tanks on eBay Greta Thunberg powers Iceland with frowns Zelensky moonwalks into NATO press conference China bans exports of sarcasm globally "Giant inflatable Godzilla sighted in Venice canals.", "Ancient aliens leave SOS sign in New Mexico desert.", Ukraine exports snowball weapons to Finland Brazil builds jungle embassy in Antarctica Israel legalizes teleportation for military use China claims moon in surprise TikTok "Cows form union for better field conditions.", "Fake viral meme causes stock market to crash.", Congress debates outlawing pineapple on pizza UN declares pizza a global currency Trump builds golden hotel on Moon Russia trades oil for Taylor Swift tickets "Martians open interplanetary yoga studio.", "Dogs hold secret puppet show for humans.", Putin appears on Dancing With Stars Trump claims Statue of Liberty is fake "Worldwide shortage of invisible ink causes chaos.", Switzerland votes to invade Liechtenstein “for fun” "Hologram Elvis performs at Glastonbury Festival.", Rudy Giuliani bitten by emotional support bat Yemen declares national llama appreciation day Jeff Goldblum discovers lost city under Arby’s "Global cheese shortage triggers riot in France.", AI wins Pulitzer Prize for poetry Congress renames Tuesday “Freedom Ham Day” Zelensky stars in Broadway musical “Kyiv!” "Nuclear- powered bicycle races held in Switzerland.", "Penguins spotted taking over Miami Beach.", Alex Jones arrested for moon landing Pope live- streams Fortnite tournament fundraiser "Fake moon landing footage accidentally aired again.", Kanye West opens church on Mars "Time traveler forgets keys in 2024, causes chaos.", Biden accidentally tweets nuclear launch codes "Self-driving cars unionize and demand rights.", US Mint issues glittery $3 bill "Smart sofas refuse to get up, start rebellion.", "Oreos declare independence from Nabisco.", Senate filibuster broken by kazoo protest North Korea offers peace for pizza rolls Trump auctions Oval Office on eBay "Cats demand equal rights in human government.", Taylor Swift mediates Israel- Palestine talks Trump declares war on New Jersey World leaders compete in Mario Kart "Leprechauns organize worldwide treasure hunt.", Oprah buys Twitter, bans all politicians "Wizards compete in official spelling bee.", "Giant flying pineapple lands in London’s Tower Hill.", Bernie Sanders starts punk rock band US-Mexico border replaced with bounce houses Palestine recognized by Vatican City esports team "Nuclear toaster causes nationwide panic.", "Aliens buy all Earth’s seaside properties.", Elon Musk proposes Mars- Israel peace plan Putin wins judo match against robot "Weather forecast predicts raining chocolate chips.", Israel- Palestine truce signed on Minecraft server Texas secedes, joins NATO instead Dennis Rodman negotiates alien peace treaty "Lizard people announce new government in secret.", "Secret society runs for local office on Mars.", Putin opens McDonald’s- themed peace summit Dwayne Johnson becomes head of NATO "Humans accidentally clone ancient woolly mammoth’s sweater.", Gaza ceasefire brokered by K-pop band US-China tariff dispute ends in karaoke Russian oligarch buys entire Swiss village Swedish cows break world escape record Global South forms anti-G7 boy band NATO accepts Antarctica as member state Trump declares Florida independent “Trump Nation” UN sanctions Belarus for bad vibes "Talking parrots run for mayor in Florida.", Ukraine replaces tanks with trained bears Trump pardons himself via skywriting plane "Bigfoot spotted grocery shopping in Ohio.", Elon Musk launches Dogecoin- only Mars mission Kim Kardashian wins Nobel Peace Prize North Korea bans color blue nationwide Kamala Harris challenges Elon Musk to duel EU mandates nap time in parliament North Korea joins Paris Fashion Week Poland bans Excel after “data trauma” Iran blames inflation on Western emojis "Panda protests for better bamboo rights.", Global summit held entirely on Discord Zuckerberg unveils mind-reading Meta contacts NASA confirms moon filled with cheese Beyoncé replaces Lincoln on penny design Canada mistakenly invades Wisconsin during drill NATO summit invaded by wild peacocks Jeff Bezos builds underwater Amazon city "Rain of glitter prompts citywide celebration.", Ukraine trades Crimea for Black Sea resort "Ghosts demand rent from haunted house owners.", Trump paints Mount Rushmore with Sharpie "Secret underground city found inside Mount Everest.", Stormy Daniels elected Mayor of Vegas Beyoncé buys entire island of Malta Supreme Court rules cats are citizens Trump wears Crocs to UN Summit "World’s largest rubber duck declared a sovereign nation.", "Fake news creates a new country in Africa.", China launches TikTok- controlled moon rover Russia accidentally sanctions itself, blames hackers "Subway stations renamed after famous memes.", Tom Hanks becomes King of Canada Putin records EDM album for diplomacy Wal-Mart recalls radioactive shrimp (again) "Trump starts reality TV, declares presidency.", UN holds peace talks inside IKEA "Olympic games hosted on a giant floating iceberg.", India launches “No Meetings Mondays” global treaty Florida bans clouds for hurricane season France renames baguettes “freedom bread” again "Clouds form funny shapes causing traffic jams.", "Dinosaur skeleton wallet stolen from museum.", "Artificial sun created in basement in Texas." "Aliens demand rights during UN meeting.", Saudi Arabia unveils floating desert embassy Netflix airs 24/7 Joe Rogan channel Zelensky wins Nobel for sarcastic tweet Israel elects AI chatbot as president Biden calls Merkel “Mom” in G20 Israeli PM replaced by Shakira impersonator "Elon Musk announces AI pet dinosaur.", "Carrots start a protest for better soil treatment.", Global trade rerouted through Amazon drones Taylor Swift’s cat wins Senate seat Germany mandates lederhosen in parliament Fridays Rudy Giuliani opens vampire- themed steakhouse UK sells Buckingham Palace to Jeff Bezos "Weather app predicts daily weather based on mood.", "UFO claims diplomatic immunity from NASA.", Lady Gaga knighted by King Charles Turkey pays EU in doner kebabs "Holographic pizza becomes the new currency.", CDC recommends hugging goats for health "Vegans build vegan- only island, ban all burgers.", Iran discovers oil under Starbucks location NASA reveals Saturn smells like Axe "Mars colony sends first meme back.", Australia trades uranium for French cheese Ukraine sells captured tanks on eBay Greta Thunberg powers Iceland with frowns Zelensky moonwalks into NATO press conference China bans exports of sarcasm globally "Giant inflatable Godzilla sighted in Venice canals.", "Ancient aliens leave SOS sign in New Mexico desert.", Ukraine exports snowball weapons to Finland Brazil builds jungle embassy in Antarctica Israel legalizes teleportation for military use China claims moon in surprise TikTok "Cows form union for better field conditions.", "Fake viral meme causes stock market to crash.", Congress debates outlawing pineapple on pizza UN declares pizza a global currency Trump builds golden hotel on Moon Russia trades oil for Taylor Swift tickets "Martians open interplanetary yoga studio.", "Dogs hold secret puppet show for humans.", Putin appears on Dancing With Stars Trump claims Statue of Liberty is fake "Worldwide shortage of invisible ink causes chaos.", Switzerland votes to invade Liechtenstein “for fun” "Hologram Elvis performs at Glastonbury Festival.", Rudy Giuliani bitten by emotional support bat Yemen declares national llama appreciation day Jeff Goldblum discovers lost city under Arby’s "Global cheese shortage triggers riot in France.", AI wins Pulitzer Prize for poetry Congress renames Tuesday “Freedom Ham Day” Zelensky stars in Broadway musical “Kyiv!” "Nuclear- powered bicycle races held in Switzerland.", "Penguins spotted taking over Miami Beach.", Alex Jones arrested for moon landing Pope live- streams Fortnite tournament fundraiser "Fake moon landing footage accidentally aired again.", Kanye West opens church on Mars "Time traveler forgets keys in 2024, causes chaos.", Biden accidentally tweets nuclear launch codes "Self-driving cars unionize and demand rights.", US Mint issues glittery $3 bill "Smart sofas refuse to get up, start rebellion.", "Oreos declare independence from Nabisco.", Senate filibuster broken by kazoo protest North Korea offers peace for pizza rolls Trump auctions Oval Office on eBay "Cats demand equal rights in human government.", Taylor Swift mediates Israel- Palestine talks Trump declares war on New Jersey World leaders compete in Mario Kart "Leprechauns organize worldwide treasure hunt.", Oprah buys Twitter, bans all politicians "Wizards compete in official spelling bee.", "Giant flying pineapple lands in London’s Tower Hill.", Bernie Sanders starts punk rock band US-Mexico border replaced with bounce houses Palestine recognized by Vatican City esports team "Nuclear toaster causes nationwide panic.", "Aliens buy all Earth’s seaside properties.", Elon Musk proposes Mars- Israel peace plan Putin wins judo match against robot "Weather forecast predicts raining chocolate chips.", Israel- Palestine truce signed on Minecraft server Texas secedes, joins NATO instead Dennis Rodman negotiates alien peace treaty "Lizard people announce new government in secret.", "Secret society runs for local office on Mars.", Putin opens McDonald’s- themed peace summit Dwayne Johnson becomes head of NATO "Humans accidentally clone ancient woolly mammoth’s sweater.", Gaza ceasefire brokered by K-pop band US-China tariff dispute ends in karaoke Russian oligarch buys entire Swiss village Swedish cows break world escape record Global South forms anti-G7 boy band NATO accepts Antarctica as member state Trump declares Florida independent “Trump Nation” UN sanctions Belarus for bad vibes "Talking parrots run for mayor in Florida.", Ukraine replaces tanks with trained bears Trump pardons himself via skywriting plane "Bigfoot spotted grocery shopping in Ohio.", Elon Musk launches Dogecoin- only Mars mission Kim Kardashian wins Nobel Peace Prize North Korea bans color blue nationwide Kamala Harris challenges Elon Musk to duel EU mandates nap time in parliament North Korea joins Paris Fashion Week Poland bans Excel after “data trauma” Iran blames inflation on Western emojis "Panda protests for better bamboo rights.", Global summit held entirely on Discord Zuckerberg unveils mind-reading Meta contacts NASA confirms moon filled with cheese Beyoncé replaces Lincoln on penny design Canada mistakenly invades Wisconsin during drill NATO summit invaded by wild peacocks Jeff Bezos builds underwater Amazon city "Rain of glitter prompts citywide celebration.", Ukraine trades Crimea for Black Sea resort "Ghosts demand rent from haunted house owners.", Trump paints Mount Rushmore with Sharpie "Secret underground city found inside Mount Everest.", Stormy Daniels elected Mayor of Vegas Beyoncé buys entire island of Malta Supreme Court rules cats are citizens Trump wears Crocs to UN Summit "World’s largest rubber duck declared a sovereign nation.", "Fake news creates a new country in Africa.", China launches TikTok- controlled moon rover Russia accidentally sanctions itself, blames hackers "Subway stations renamed after famous memes.", Tom Hanks becomes King of Canada Putin records EDM album for diplomacy Wal-Mart recalls radioactive shrimp (again) "Trump starts reality TV, declares presidency.", UN holds peace talks inside IKEA "Olympic games hosted on a giant floating iceberg.", India launches “No Meetings Mondays” global treaty Florida bans clouds for hurricane season France renames baguettes “freedom bread” again "Clouds form funny shapes causing traffic jams.", "Dinosaur skeleton wallet stolen from museum.", "Artificial sun created in basement in Texas." "Aliens demand rights during UN meeting.", Saudi Arabia unveils floating desert embassy Netflix airs 24/7 Joe Rogan channel Zelensky wins Nobel for sarcastic tweet Israel elects AI chatbot as president Biden calls Merkel “Mom” in G20 Israeli PM replaced by Shakira impersonator "Elon Musk announces AI pet dinosaur.", "Carrots start a protest for better soil treatment.", Global trade rerouted through Amazon drones Taylor Swift’s cat wins Senate seat Germany mandates lederhosen in parliament Fridays
(Print)
Rudy Giuliani opens vampire-themed steakhouse
UK sells Buckingham Palace to Jeff Bezos
"Weather app predicts daily weather based on mood.",
"UFO claims diplomatic immunity from NASA.",
Lady Gaga knighted by King Charles
Turkey pays EU in doner kebabs
"Holographic pizza becomes the new currency.",
CDC recommends hugging goats for health
"Vegans build vegan-only island, ban all burgers.",
Iran discovers oil under Starbucks location
NASA reveals Saturn smells like Axe
"Mars colony sends first meme back.",
Australia trades uranium for French cheese
Ukraine sells captured tanks on eBay
Greta Thunberg powers Iceland with frowns
Zelensky moonwalks into NATO press conference
China bans exports of sarcasm globally
"Giant inflatable Godzilla sighted in Venice canals.",
"Ancient aliens leave SOS sign in New Mexico desert.",
Ukraine exports snowball weapons to Finland
Brazil builds jungle embassy in Antarctica
Israel legalizes teleportation for military use
China claims moon in surprise TikTok
"Cows form union for better field conditions.",
"Fake viral meme causes stock market to crash.",
Congress debates outlawing pineapple on pizza
UN declares pizza a global currency
Trump builds golden hotel on Moon
Russia trades oil for Taylor Swift tickets
"Martians open interplanetary yoga studio.",
"Dogs hold secret puppet show for humans.",
Putin appears on Dancing With Stars
Trump claims Statue of Liberty is fake
"Worldwide shortage of invisible ink causes chaos.",
Switzerland votes to invade Liechtenstein “for fun”
"Hologram Elvis performs at Glastonbury Festival.",
Rudy Giuliani bitten by emotional support bat
Yemen declares national llama appreciation day
Jeff Goldblum discovers lost city under Arby’s
"Global cheese shortage triggers riot in France.",
AI wins Pulitzer Prize for poetry
Congress renames Tuesday “Freedom Ham Day”
Zelensky stars in Broadway musical “Kyiv!”
"Nuclear-powered bicycle races held in Switzerland.",
"Penguins spotted taking over Miami Beach.",
Alex Jones arrested for moon landing
Pope live-streams Fortnite tournament fundraiser
"Fake moon landing footage accidentally aired again.",
Kanye West opens church on Mars
"Time traveler forgets keys in 2024, causes chaos.",
Biden accidentally tweets nuclear launch codes
"Self-driving cars unionize and demand rights.",
US Mint issues glittery $3 bill
"Smart sofas refuse to get up, start rebellion.",
"Oreos declare independence from Nabisco.",
Senate filibuster broken by kazoo protest
North Korea offers peace for pizza rolls
Trump auctions Oval Office on eBay
"Cats demand equal rights in human government.",
Taylor Swift mediates Israel-Palestine talks
Trump declares war on New Jersey
World leaders compete in Mario Kart
"Leprechauns organize worldwide treasure hunt.",
Oprah buys Twitter, bans all politicians
"Wizards compete in official spelling bee.",
"Giant flying pineapple lands in London’s Tower Hill.",
Bernie Sanders starts punk rock band
US-Mexico border replaced with bounce houses
Palestine recognized by Vatican City esports team
"Nuclear toaster causes nationwide panic.",
"Aliens buy all Earth’s seaside properties.",
Elon Musk proposes Mars-Israel peace plan
Putin wins judo match against robot
"Weather forecast predicts raining chocolate chips.",
Israel-Palestine truce signed on Minecraft server
Texas secedes, joins NATO instead
Dennis Rodman negotiates alien peace treaty
"Lizard people announce new government in secret.",
"Secret society runs for local office on Mars.",
Putin opens McDonald’s-themed peace summit
Dwayne Johnson becomes head of NATO
"Humans accidentally clone ancient woolly mammoth’s sweater.",
Gaza ceasefire brokered by K-pop band
US-China tariff dispute ends in karaoke
Russian oligarch buys entire Swiss village
Swedish cows break world escape record
Global South forms anti-G7 boy band
NATO accepts Antarctica as member state
Trump declares Florida independent “Trump Nation”
UN sanctions Belarus for bad vibes
"Talking parrots run for mayor in Florida.",
Ukraine replaces tanks with trained bears
Trump pardons himself via skywriting plane
"Bigfoot spotted grocery shopping in Ohio.",
Elon Musk launches Dogecoin-only Mars mission
Kim Kardashian wins Nobel Peace Prize
North Korea bans color blue nationwide
Kamala Harris challenges Elon Musk to duel
EU mandates nap time in parliament
North Korea joins Paris Fashion Week
Poland bans Excel after “data trauma”
Iran blames inflation on Western emojis
"Panda protests for better bamboo rights.",
Global summit held entirely on Discord
Zuckerberg unveils mind-reading Meta contacts
NASA confirms moon filled with cheese
Beyoncé replaces Lincoln on penny design
Canada mistakenly invades Wisconsin during drill
NATO summit invaded by wild peacocks
Jeff Bezos builds underwater Amazon city
"Rain of glitter prompts citywide celebration.",
Ukraine trades Crimea for Black Sea resort
"Ghosts demand rent from haunted house owners.",
Trump paints Mount Rushmore with Sharpie
"Secret underground city found inside Mount Everest.",
Stormy Daniels elected Mayor of Vegas
Beyoncé buys entire island of Malta
Supreme Court rules cats are citizens
Trump wears Crocs to UN Summit
"World’s largest rubber duck declared a sovereign nation.",
"Fake news creates a new country in Africa.",
China launches TikTok-controlled moon rover
Russia accidentally sanctions itself, blames hackers
"Subway stations renamed after famous memes.",
Tom Hanks becomes King of Canada
Putin records EDM album for diplomacy
Wal-Mart recalls radioactive shrimp (again)
"Trump starts reality TV, declares presidency.",
UN holds peace talks inside IKEA
"Olympic games hosted on a giant floating iceberg.",
India launches “No Meetings Mondays” global treaty
Florida bans clouds for hurricane season
France renames baguettes “freedom bread” again
"Clouds form funny shapes causing traffic jams.",
"Dinosaur skeleton wallet stolen from museum.",
"Artificial sun created in basement in Texas."
"Aliens demand rights during UN meeting.",
Saudi Arabia unveils floating desert embassy
Netflix airs 24/7 Joe Rogan channel
Zelensky wins Nobel for sarcastic tweet
Israel elects AI chatbot as president
Biden calls Merkel “Mom” in G20
Israeli PM replaced by Shakira impersonator
"Elon Musk announces AI pet dinosaur.",
"Carrots start a protest for better soil treatment.",
Global trade rerouted through Amazon drones
Taylor Swift’s cat wins Senate seat
Germany mandates lederhosen in parliament Fridays
